


writing on the wall

by injerannie94



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, College AU, Drunken phone calls, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Oops, Parties, more tags to come, so first meetings don't always go as planned, unrequited crushes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:13:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5198642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injerannie94/pseuds/injerannie94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili's eyes alighted on a line of scrawled sharpie text at eye level – FILI GIVES FREE BLOW JOBS. Underneath the caps was a phone number.</p><p>Kili didn’t realize what he was doing until his phone was in his hand, giggling madly to himself as he keyed in the ten digits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally just on my tumblr, as i didnt think it would become a thing, but then i kept getting ideas for it so it has graduated to an AO3 :) yay! please be patient as updates won't be regular... but please hang in there :)
> 
> also - i know nothing about the American college system, other than what i know from friends and movies. please forgive and correct me if i get anything spectacularly wrong!!

Kili had a hard time not laughing as he stumbled into the bathroom stall. Being drunk was fun. He should have known college would be better than his wildest dreams.

It took all his concentration and a fair amount of crashing into the thin walls of the stall before he made it to toilet seat. He sat down heavily on it, trying to stop the world spinning. Jesus, what had been in that punch. He stared at the grimy walls, spattered with obscene doodles in sharpie. He wondered what the girls bathrooms looked like - probably less penises and more hearts with names in them, based on that one time he stumbled into the ladies by mistake on that basketball social he’d been on. He had been almost as drunk then as he was now. Some of the hearts had been violently scratched out – he supposed it hadn’t been happily ever after all.

His stood up when he thought his jelly legs could support him and turned around. His eyes alighted on a line of scrawled sharpie text at eye level – FILI GIVES FREE BLOW JOBS. Underneath the caps was a phone number.

Kili didn’t realize what he was doing until his phone was in his hand, giggling madly to himself as he keyed in the ten digits.

_“Hello?”_

“Hello?”

_“Who is this?”_

_Mmm_ , he was British. What a glorious accent. Kili shut his eyes, basking in it.

 _“Hello?”_  The voice on the other end sounded frustrated.

“Is this Fili?”

_“Yes, who’s calling?”_

“Nice name,” Kili managed, trying to stifle his giggles. “I’m calling about your advertisement?”

_“Who is this? What advertisement?”_

“I wish to make an enquiry about the free blow jobs,” Kili said loudly, enunciating every word as if he was talking to an idiot. 

_“What the – listen you shit, whoever you are, I don’t know how you got this number but if you dare fucking call again-“_

“Alright, alright, chill out. So about those blowjobs then, shall I meet you somewhere or do you come here?”

Kili heard a snarl before the line went dead. It was a very British sounding snarl. It sounded hot. Shame.

There was a banging on the stall door.

“Kili, have you fallen in?” Ori shouted. “Hurry up!”

“Coming!” Kili called, hitting the flush and shoving the door open. It took him a few tries before he remembered the lock and slid the latch, almost falling onto the tiled floor.

Ori shoved a hipflask under his nose. Kili tilted his head and downed a mouthful. A few hours ago it would have burned but he was so drunk he wouldn’t taste a chili pepper if it bit him.

“Save some for me!” Ori downed the rest of the hipflask as Kili stuck his hands under a broken tap, from which water was flowing unstoppably.

“Move, move, I wanna dance,” Ori chanted, putting his hands on Kili’s shoulders and making to push him out of the door.

“Wait Ori –  _aah!”_ Kili flailed as his shoe slipped in a puddle on the floor, sending him flying. He rolled onto his back, ignoring the pain in his wrists from breaking his fall as he glared up at his friend, howling with laughter.

“It’s not funny you dumbass I fell – oh  _fuck!”_ He scrambled for his phone a few feet away where it had flown out of his pocket. He brandished the smashed screen at Ori. “Proud of yourself?”

“You can get that fixed tomorrow, my brother knows a cheap place,” Ori told him, wiping tears from his eyes. “Let’s go!”

Kili gave his smashed screen one last mournful look before shoving it back in his pocket and following Ori back into the pulsing throb of people on the crowded dance floor of the club.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was a struggle to say the least. By the time Kili cracked his eyes open, he realized he had already missed his ten AM seminar and was well on his way to being late for his lecture at twelve. It was a scramble to pull on clothes and shove his laptop into his bag, trying to ignore the pounding in his head that felt like someone was mining for gold that they were definitely hard-pressed to find; he spent the next hour trying to resist flopping his head onto his folded arms on the desk in front of him while a stuffy man in a sweat-stained shirt droned on about something that sounded boring and was probably pretty irrelevant for the exam at the end of the year anyway.

One excruciating hour later Kili headed to the canteen, his stomach having changed from churning to starving. He spotted Ori and a few of his other friends at a table in a corner and got in line behind a group of hipster-looking older students, turning his lunch card over in his pocket and praying there was enough money on it so that he didn’t need to call his uncle to ask for a top-up for the fourth time this month.

“I got another call last night.”

Kili froze – he knew that voice.

Trying not to look nonchalant, he strained at the corner of his eyes in the direction of the speaker, somewhere amidst the group of older students ahead of him in the queue. A blonde with long hair pulled back in a ponytail, currently sliding his tray along the counter, caught his attention. His lips were set in a frown, and his eyebrows drawn together dangerously. He looked pissed off.

 “Little fucker even had the cheek to make fun of my name. I swear Bo, it’s stopped being funny.”

 “I’m telling you it wasn’t me,” his friend yelped, clutching his heart as if it could protest his innocence. “Would I be so cruel?”

 “Wouldn’t you?”

 Kili’s face was red as a beet. Or that’s how he imagined it must look like – his cheeks were burning and he suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore.

“Look at this dude – don’t you think he looks guilty?” Kili looked at who the speaker was gesturing at, and recognized him as one of Ori’s older brothers, Nori, rumoured petty criminal and troublemaker in general. Kili dropped his gaze hastily, hoping none of them had spotted him.

“Hate to disappoint, gents, but regrettably, it wasn’t me. Wish I’d thought of it though, what a prank. Smells like an idea of Darren’s if you ask me.”

Kili heard the blonde huff a deep sigh and chanced a glance upwards to see him rolling his eyes. “Didn’t think of that. I bet it was him.”

“Wouldn’t put it past him,” interjected the first friend, Bo, the one with the beanie and daft braids and utterly ridiculous moustache. He started to whistle as he shunted his tray along the counter next to the blonde. “What are you fancying today? Looks like we got a choice of – ooh, slop or slop. My favourite.”

Kili didn’t know who Darren was, nor was he concerned – his only concern at that point was to not be noticed by anyone who might recognize him in front of the blonde who was Fili. He got his lunch, mumbling to the serving lady as quietly as he could get away with while still being comprehensible, paid and slid to the table in the corner next to Faramir.

“Good afternoon!”

“Why do you never get hangovers?” Kili grumbled in the face of Ori’s chipperness.

“The trick is not to mix,” Ori informed him with a wink. “Stick with the whiskey all night and you’ll be fine.”

“I’ll remember that next time I want to die by subjecting myself to another night out with you,” Kili yawned. Faramir and Eowyn exchanged looks, suppressing smiles.

“Fun night then?”

“Too fun. And on top of that –“ Kili reached into his pocket, tossing his smashed phone onto the table for all to see. “Look what Ori made me do!”

“I did nothing of the sort! It’s not my fault you tripped over your own big feet!”

“You pushed me!”

“I did not! Anyway, I told you it’s fine, my brother knows someone who fixes phones for cheap.”

“It better be cheap, cos you’re paying for it,” Kili warned him, glowering. He looked back at his plate, appetite returned, and stuck in.

——————

Classes after lunch were a fraction less of a drag, but Kili still found himself counting down the minutes before his history of art lesson was over.

He, Faramir and Ori hoisted their bags onto their shoulders as soon as the professor called it a day and speedwalked outside. Faramir immediately disappeared to go find Eowyn and Ori headed back to their dorms. Kili checked the address for the phone shop Ori had scribbled for him on a scrap of paper and headed in the opposite direction into town.

He found the place easily enough, right on the front of the high street. The man behind the counter wearing the uniform yellow polo looked up as the door clicked shut and Kili could have yelped as he recognized him – it was the older blonde boy he’d seen in the lunch queue. But by that point it was too late, he could hardly turn and flee without looking like an absolute weirdo.

“Can I help you?” Fili said, not unkindly.

“Um. Yes.” Swallowing hard, Kili walked up to the counter and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “My screen’s broken.” 

“I can see that.” Fili picked up the phone and examined it. “How did it break?”

“I dropped it,” Kili said. His throat was suddenly very dry – his eyes were fixed on his slim black phone, being turned over against slightly calloused palms, and Kili suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy for his phone 

“How new is this phone? There might be a chance you can get this on the warranty. But given that they don’t usually cover accidental damage, it could get pricey.”

“I’m a friend of Ori’s,” Kili said quickly, remembering what Ori had told him to say. “Nori’s brother?”

“Oh yeah, I know him,” Fili said offhandedly. “I can fix it, no problem. What’s your name?” 

“Keelan Durin. But my friends call me Kili.”

“Is Keelan Durin the name your contract is registered under?” Fili asked and Kili felt stupid.

“Yes.”

Fili typed Kili’s details into the computer.

“What’s your phone number?”

Kili had a sudden wish he was hearing those words under rather different circumstances.

“Three-five-five…”

Fili typed the number in one digit at a time and frowned slightly. He swiped at Kili’s lock screen and pressed a few icons.

“I knew it, it was you!” he snarled. “ _You_  were the twat who called me last night!”

“I did no such thing!” Kili snapped defensively, though he was sure even he wouldn’t believe him.

“Ever heard of caller ID? I knew I recognized that number,” Fili snapped.

“Well, it wasn’t me,” Kili protested, but he wasn’t even trying. “I mean – I saw your number written in the bathroom…”

Fili chucked his phone back at him and Kili stumbled to catch it. “Get out of here.”

“What about my screen?” Kili protested.

“You can take that to the Apple store and they’ll charge you what you deserve for being such a moron.”

“That’s not fair,” Kili complained. “I was going to pay you!”

“So you’d give me money me to fix your phone but not to suck your dick? Well I hope you’re saving because the only way you’d ever get a blow job would be if you paid for it!” Fili snapped, slamming the door behind him and flipping the ‘Closed’ sign hanging in the window.

Kili huffed, making his floppy hair jump wildly over his forehead. He combed his fingers through it, trying to remember the last time he’d shampooed, then sighed again, turned and made his way up the high street.

———— 

Kili ended up spending almost $100 to fix his screen. He was feeling frustrated even before he got home, and it his mood didn’t improve when Ori was the first one he saw back in their apartment.

“I thought you said that Fili guy was cool,” he told Ori testily.

“He is cool,” Ori said, sounding surprised. “What did you do to him?”

“He got mad when he found out I was the one who called him yesterday night. You know? That number? In the bathroom? When we were out?”

Ori looked confused for a second, then burst out laughing. “ _Oh!_ That was  _that_ Fili?”

“How many Filis do you know?” Kili asked tersely.

“His real name is Felix, he’s been friends with Nori for ages. But he’s known as Fili, not unlike yourself.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure he’d be happy to hear you put it like that,” Kili muttered but Ori waved him off with a flap of his hand. 

“Whatever. He’ll get over it. Do you have any idea where to start with the philosophy and ethics homework? Cos I tell you, I am well and truly fucked if I remember anything Dr Grey has taught us in the last two months…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, what a reception guys!!! thank you all so much for your comments, i have read them all and will hopefully get round to answering them all soon, really i did not expect this :) and here is chapter 3, a earlier than i thought i'd post it but you guys have been so great! sorry to anyone who's been following it on tumblr that its nothing new, but there will be more to come :)
> 
> Just to clarify:
> 
> Kili, Gimli, Ori and Faramir are freshmen – Kili, Gimli and Ori were friends before and still live together in the same hometown. Kili and Gimli are cousins.
> 
> Bofur, Nori and Fili are 'sophmores' (second years ;)) and they live together.
> 
> Aragorn, Arwen, and Eomer are seniors.
> 
> And I forgot about Boromir for this chapter but he also went to Erebor university and graduated last year and is now working at the university.
> 
> hope you all enjoy :)

Nori had a nice place – it wasn’t the usual cheap-as-hell student digs with furniture that screamed Ikea and mouldy walls.

“Welcome, welcome, squirt,” Nori greeted as they opened the door. Ori stuck out his tongue. 

“Nice to see you too brother  _dearest_.”

“Oh, shut up and come inside. Everybody, meet everybody, this is Ori my little brother, and this is Kili, and Gimli.”

Eowyn, who had evidently hitched a ride with her senior brother Eomer, skipped to Faramir’s side and kissed him. She obviously knew all the older students pretty well, as did Faramir whose older brother had been in the year above and graduated last year was best friends with Aragorn.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Bofur declared ostentatiously. “I’m Bofur. And this is Aragorn, Arwen and I guess you know Eomer.”

Kili’s heart jumped into his mouth as Fili entered the room, a freshly opened bottle of beer in his hand.

“Oh. You.” Was all he said.

“And that’s Fili. I guess now we’re all sufficiently introduced, let the games begin!” Bofur beamed. “Never-have-I-ever, anyone?”

Kili pulled out the Desperados he’d bought earlier using his fake ID out of the plastic bag he’d brought them in. He suddenly felt self-conscious about his choice of drink but everyone seemed too busy settling into a wide circle on the floor of the bohemian living room to notice. He decanted a bottle hastily into one of those infamous red plastic cups, just in case. After all, it wasn’t a party unless there were red cups involved.

“Never have I ever had a tattoo,” Eowyn declared.

Kili raised his tequila-flavoured beer to his lips and took a swig. Eowyn narrowed her eyes at him.

“You don’t have a tattoo,” she accused.

“I have,” Kili said. Ori and Gimli suddenly burst into irrepressible giggles.

“Where?”

“It’s – I have your name tattooed on my bum.”

The room broke out in snorts and sniggers. “You have  _not_ ,” Eowyn declared.

“It’s true!” Kili insisted.

“It is true!” Ori chimed in, wiping tears form his eyes. “It was back home, before we came to college, we went out and managed to all get  _hammered_  and we dared him to get a tattoo at one AM.”

“I’ve got a picture,” Gimli sniggered, holding out his phone. Kili blushed as Gimli passed around his phone, the rest of the circle laughing and leaning in to see Kili’s pale white buttcheek emblazoned with the neatly printed words ‘Your Name’. Only Fili didn’t seem impressed – he wasn’t smiling and seemed to be resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he took another swig of his beer.

Kili noticed he’d drank too when Eowyn said her turn. He wondered what tattoo Fili had – and where.

The game continued. Kili was really rather tame, but couldn’t help stealing more glances at Fili – he didn’t drink when someone asked who had had sex in public, but did when someone said they had never joined the mile-high club. He took an extra long drag on his beer when someone asked if anyone had ever been in love, and laughed with everyone else when someone asked if anyone had ever had a threesome.

“Never have I liked anyone in this room…”

Kili averted his eyes to the ground as he took a swig of his beer – he was relieved to note out of the corner of his eye that he was far from the only one drinking.

“I’m bored of this game,” Boromir declared when everyone was a bit tipsy and the questions were starting to get pointed (“Never have I ever stolen something!  _Hem-hem Nori_!” “Fine! Never have I ever worn a  _stupid hat_ every day of my life cos my hair is too nasty to be revealed in public!”). “Let’s play something else.”

“Beer pong? Or ring of fire?”

“Where are you going?” Bofur asked Fili, who had stood up and was shrugging on his jacket.

 “I gotta go. I’m meeting someone in town in ten.”

 “Who is it?”

 “None of your business. We’re just going for a drink. Well, see you all.”

 Bofur rolled his eyes in Nori’s direction as Fili pocketed his wallet and left.

Kili felt a pang as he watched Fili go. He racked his brains but knew that even if he could think of anything to say that could have persuaded Fili not to leave it wouldn’t have worked. Not from him anyway. He didn’t stand a chance. And he couldn’t count the number of times he’d already drifted off in class to thoughts of blue eyes and warm hands cupping his cheek or wrapped cosily around one of his own.

Shame he had fucked it up already with that stupid goddam prank.

So Kili did what all other people who have made stupid drunken mistakes do – he got drunk again. And when someone started passing around a spliff, he completely forgot the magic rule and was horribly sick in the toilet after barely three tokes.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh BOY have i been bad at updating!!! im so sorry, i cant promise it wont happen again, but i hope you'll forgive me :) i havent forgotten about this story at all, but ive been struggling with chapter 5 - i actually thought i'd posted this already but it must have been a dream! so please enjoy a highly un-seasonal halloween chapter, and happy new year to all :)

It was halfway through October that Ori invited Kili and Faramir to Nori’s Halloween party. Kili agreed immediately, partially because he had come to the conclusion that he was beginning to develop a huge and rather dangerous crush on Fili. They’d met several more times in bars and on the occasional night out with the gang and Kili had soon realized that he was in Big Trouble. As if the hot accent wasn’t sexy enough, that  _voice_ with which he enunciated those beautiful RP words was caramel and gravel in all the right places – too goddam sexy to be legal, especially coupled with those eyes, those blue,  _blue_ eyes that were capable of lighting up a room when they sparkled with mirth and being completely deadpan in that uniquely British way that was both infuriating and hilarious at the same time.  
  
And that  _body…_ Kili daydreamed (and then seriously considered) buying a gym membership; he would go to the gym every day if it was Fili’s gym.  
  
And that  _face_ – Kili rapidly came to the conclusion that the list would never stop.  
  
There was only one problem, of course: Fili hated him. And with probably fairly good reason.  
  
Pushing that painful worry aside, Kili concentrated instead on his Halloween costume – how to look sexy and cool whilst also not breaking Nori’s strict rule of ‘COSTUMES MANDATORY or you find SOMEWHERE ELSE to PARTY THIS HALLOWEEN!’. With sexy options running low, Kili decided his best bet was to go in a suit. He looked good in a suit. And he could always say he was Clarke Kent. On the other hand, Ori was trying to convince his housemates to go as a group costume.  
  
“Come on, the three musketeers! What could be better?”  
  
“Eowyn and me are doing a couples costume,” Faramir told him. “Tarzan and Jane.”  
  
“Wow. I think I might be sick.”  
  
Faramir smiled serenely and flipped Ori the bird. Ori turned his gaze to Kili. “So what are we going to do? We can’t be the two musketeers now.”  
  
“Actually Ori, I was thinking I might go as Clarke Kent,” Kili said.  
  
“Clark Kent? Not even Superman? That is so lame.”  
  
“It’s not lame, it’s original!”  
  
“You can’t go to a Halloween party in a suit. People will think you’re lost. Or a lawyer. And plus, it’s not even a costume.” Ori jabbed at Nori’s invitation on his computer screen, emphasizing the words ‘COSTUMES MANDATORY.’ “How about the wild west? I’ll be the Lone Ranger and you can be Tonto.”  
  
The thought of exposing his weedy body to public scrutiny filled Kili with horror. “It’ll be cold!” he invented as an excuse.  
  
“But I haven’t got the right coloring to be Tonto! Hey, how about Harry Potter and Ron Weasley? We’ve got the right hair.”  
  
“Ori, can’t you just do you own costume?”  
  
“Fine! I’ll just have to be a pirate.”  
  
“No way! Pirate was my back up plan!”   
  
“As much as all your costume ideas are just  _dripping_ with originality,” Faramir said loudly, cutting off their argument. “I’m sure there will be enough pirates that it won’t make a difference if both of you are too.”  
  
\-------------  
  
“Hey, you guys made it!” Bofur’s loud, merry voice boomed. He gave them a huge, tipsy smile as he swept off his scarlet feathered hat and bowed low. “Oh my god! You’re Waldo!”  
  
“Yup!” Ori grinned.  
  
“I found you!” Bofur roared with laughter. “Good one, man! And here we have - a lawyer? That really is scary. Anyway, welcome! Or should I say  _bienvenue_ !”  
  
“He means come in,” Nori rolled his eyes, pulling Bofur away from the door and waving them inside.  
  
“We’re the three musketeers,” Bofur informed them, beaming. “We did a house costume this year.”  
  
Ori turned to Kili furiously. “I told you it was a good idea!”  
  
“Well it wouldn’t have been if we ended up as six musketeers, would it?” Kili pointed out testily.  
  
“Look out, look out, someone’s come to put out the  _fire!!!_ ” a loud voice boomed, as a man in an orange suit barreled in behind them, raising a few laughs and cheers.  
  
Dammit. Kili really should have thought of that one.  
  
They followed the fireman into the sitting room, crowded with pirates, cowboys, ghosts, devils, blood-spattered nurses and girls in an array of slutty alternatives to what really didn’t need to be slutty costumes. Kili looked around casually, trying to make out that he wasn’t looking for anyone in particular.  
  
“Hey guys!” Eowyn wrapped Ori and Kili both in a huge hug. She flopped back onto Faramir’s lap, beaming at them. Faramir was grinning too, despite the fact that he was wearing only a pair of shorts and a wig, streaks of makeup meant to look like smears of mud completing his tarzan ensemble. Eowyn’s dress was yellow, fringed with lace, and she appeared to have lost one white glove.  
  
“Hey, how’s it going?”  
  
“Your brother throws a great party,” Eowyn told Ori happily. “Have you tried the punch? It’s  _amaaaazing-_ ”  
  
“Yeah, uh-huh,” Kili mumbled distractedly, hearing a distinctly familiar British caliber pricking up his ears, he turned around casually, trying to look casual, and spotted Fili.  _Oh_ but Fili made a good musketeer. He’d grown his moustache and it sat proudly on his lip, not as bushy as Bofur’s but looking distinctly suave. His hair was loose, falling over his shoulders in golden waves under a plum-colored hat kitted with a regal plume - Kili suddenly realized he finally understood the phrase ‘to have a hat-face’. Fili’s waistcoat and jacket were also rich shades of red and purple and he had high-heeled black boots over his tight leather trousers. Kili felt his heart stutter before restarting again painfully.  
  
“Kili? Helloo, earth to the K-man. Drink?”  
  
“Yeah, sure.”  
  
He followed Ori to the kitchen and automatically accepted the pint-sized plastic cup filled with dubious orange liquid which smelled like gin and tropical juice. He was soon dragged into a game of beer pong to even up teams - he recognized Aragorn and Eowyn’s brother Eomer as two of his teammates and Kili wished he was anywhere but the kitchen, caught up in a game he wasn’t good at and barely understood, though the rules seemed simple enough. It felt like hours later that he finally managed to extract himself, his teammates cheering as the opposite team groaned and began chugging, slipping quietly back into the living room and the main part and glancing around for his friends.  
  
Fili was talking to the fireman in a corner. He was smiling, leaning against the wall with one leg crossed over the other as the fireman copied his pose; Fili was nodding, lips twisting into a wider smile as the story progressed. Kili stupidly felt his eyes start to prickle – honestly, couldn’t he control himself? The answer apparently was no so he turned abruptly and headed for the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and leaned over the sink, trying to steady his breathing. A few tears slipped out and he brushed them away hard, glaring at himself in the mirror. He felt stupid an dorky and dumb. Maybe he’d had too much to drink, but he’d barely drank anything so far.  
  
There was a hard rapping on the door. “Kili? Are you in there?”  
  
“Yup,” Kili mumbled.  
  
“Open the door.”  
  
“What do you want Ori?”  
  
“I’m sick of this place. I swear if one more person comes up to me saying ‘I’ve found you’, I’m going to fucking kill them,” Ori fumed. “Can we go home now?”  
  
“Sure.. just… coming.” Kili hit the flush. He slid back the bolt, opening the door to Ori’s concerned face.  
  
“You ok?”  
  
“Not feeling great,” he mumbled.  
  
“You and me both. Let’s go.”  
  
“Is Faramir not coming?”  
  
“He’s sucking face with  _Jane_ . I sincerely hope they don’t come back to ours tonight, I really don’t need any headboards banging on the wall keeping me up tonight.”  
  
“Me neither,” Kili mumbled.  
  
“You really don’t look great. Your eyes are kinda puffy.”  
  
“Think I’m coming down with a cold,” Kili muttered.  
  
“Huh, well I guess winter’s on its way.”  
  
“I guess.” Kili kept his head resolutely straight as they pushed past people in the crowded hall, trying hard not to see two heads, two bodies bent close together – close enough to be kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, all kudos/comments/feedback appreciated and welcomed :) X


	5. Chapter 5

  
Kili seriously regretted the day he had chosen decided to ever do beginners philosophy. ‘Beginners’ his ass. From what he could tell, anyone would have to be Plato in order to pass this stupid course.  
  
“This stuff is bullshit,” Ori grumbled one night, throwing down his pen and pushing his textbook away aggravatedly.  
  
“Tell me about it,” Kili sighed, putting down his own pencil. He stared at his notebook for one more second before giving up - this stuff hurt his brain even looking it.  
  
He stole a glance back towards a table behind them, where Fili and his constant romantic companion had taken to sitting as of late. Kili wished Fili and his stupid boyfriend would just leave him alone. Whenever he was trying to concentrate on his studies,  _they_ would always appear, as if out of nowhere, sipping coffees in his favorite café on campus, hands brushing as they walked down crowded corridors together, and now even in the freaking library, sitting few rows behind them, socked feet playing footsie under the table as they whispered quietly over their books. It was as if fate had decided Kili’s grades were doomed.  
  
To make things worse, Fili always had that smile on his face, the small stupid one that Kili  _knew_ meant he was happy with that dipshit of a boyfriend, who was probably quite nice really but Kili was destined to hate on principle.  
  
“Hey, isn’t that Fili?”  
  
“Uh, I don’t know,” Kili said hastily.  
  
“I think he did this module last year, let’s see if he can help us.”  
  
“Ori,  _no-_ “  
  
“Hey Fili,” Ori hissed over Kili’s shoulder, waving. “Do a friend a favor?”  
  
Fili glanced up at Ori’s hiss, standing up and sauntering over to them.  
  
“Hey. What’s up?”  
  
“So, we’re trying to do our homework for Beg Phil,” Ori started, as Kili hid his face behind a curtain of hair, hoping Fili couldn’t feel the infrared rays radiating from his cheeks. “And we’re struggling. To say the least. Didn’t you do this class last year?”  
  
“I did.”  
  
“How did you find it? Just so I know I’m not asking someone with even less of a clue than us.”  
  
“It was good, I found it pretty interesting. I did pretty well.”  
  
“Define ‘well’.”  
  
“Ninety four percent.”  
  
Kili groaned internally, adding  _superhuman brains_ to the long list of things to love Fili for.  
  
“What are you having problems with?”  
  
“Everything. None of it makes sense,” Ori admitted frustratedly, shuffling papers around on the table in front of him until he found the first page of their homework questions. “Like this – this epistemology stuff. That’s like knowledge right?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“So what does this mean:  _Outline the skeptics position regarding knowledge._ I mean – what?!?”  
  
Fili chuckled. “Well, there’s a trick question. Classic Professor Grey.”  
  
“Is it?” Ori’s face was blank.  
  
“You’re familiar with the skeptics, yes?”  
  
“Er… they ring a vague sort of bell. I know what skeptical means.”  
  
“That’s a start. Well, the theory of skepticism is based on the fact that there is no knowledge.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Well, what is knowledge? Something that is true, right? But we can never have any certainty about the truth, therefore no one really knows anything, so truth and knowledge are therefore impossible.”  
  
“Yes, but what about science? It’s evidence-based so there must be such a thing as truth. You want to know if something’s true, so you test it, and then based on the evidence you can decide what’s true and what’s true becomes knowledge.”  
  
“But the problem is that to test knowledge, that in itself depends on testing it against other beliefs which are equally impossible to determine as truth. Any given justification of knowledge will itself depend on another belief for its justification, therefore leading to an infinite regress.”  
  
Ori blinked. “Wow,” he said at last.  
  
“Think of it this way – all the knowledge we have, we can’t know that it’s true, right? All of it. So if we want to test any of it, we would have to use other pieces of knowledge which we know are true. But if ultimately, there is no certainty of true knowledge, so there is no way to test for it either.”  
  
“But – that still seems ridiculous!”  
  
“To be fair, the question doesn’t ask you to agree with it, it just asks you to explain it.”  
  
“True!” Ori said gleefully, grabbing his pencil and scribbling out a few lines triumphantly. “What was it you said… no certainty of truth therefore leading to an infinite relapse?”  
  
“Regress. But yes, that’s the skeptics argument. The Fallibilism argument is basically the same, but unlike the skeptics, fallibilists don’t suggest we abandon all knowledge because it is unreliable but instead we need to take into account the fact that our knowledge is unreliable and treat it with caution – basically, be aware that anything we take as knowledge could turn out to be false.”  
  
“That seems more fair,” Ori said thoughtfully, making a few notes on his original answer before putting his pen down triumphantly. “There! Done!” He leaned backwards over his chair, stretching, as if he had done all the work. “So are you going home for Thanksgiving?”  
  
“It’s not really traditional in my family.”  
  
“What?” Ori’s eyebrows shot under his ginger fringe to the extent that they were barely visible. “You don’t celebrate Thanksgiving? So what do you  _do_ between Halloween and Christmas?”  
  
Fili laughed at Ori’s bafflement. “I don’t know – get on with life? We Brits don’t mind waiting.”  
  
“Y’all need more fun in your life,” Ori muttered.  
  
“What do you guys actually study? Not philosophy I hope.”  
  
Kili realized Fili was directing his question at both of them. He tried to look casual as he lifted his head, hoping his flaming cheeks wouldn’t be noticed.  
  
“Liberal arts,” Ori answered for both of them before Kili could even open his mouth. “Hoping to major in literature, personally.”  
  
“Nice. Well, I’ve got an essay that’s busting my balls. On literature in fact.”  
  
“Enjoy. Thanks a lot!” Ori called after him. Fili flashed a smile and lifted a hand in farewell before padding back to his own table, where Fili’s boyfriend was watching him.  
  
“What’s his problem anyway?” Kili muttered.  
  
Ori looked at him. “Hey, are you ok? Your cheeks look pretty red.”  
  
“I’m fine. It’s hot in here.”  
  
“If you say so.” Ori shrugged, and glanced over Kili’s shoulder, continuing in a lower voice. “That’s Fili’s boyfriend, Darren. If you ask me, I don’t get the impression the others like him.”  
  
“Really?” Kili’s heart leapt but he chided himself not to get his hopes up.  
  
“Yeah. The way Nori talks about him at least. But they seem pretty tight to me.”  
  
Kili’s heart sank again at Ori’s last words. Although Darren… why did that name sound familiar?  
  
Ori pushed his answer sheet towards Kili. “Hurry up so we can get out of here. Might even catch the last episode of House of Cards.”  
  
“Roger that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, just to clarify, i am not a philosopher!! and it is Ori and Fili's discussion that is to blame for how ridiculously long it took me to finish this chapter - i hope it at least passes as something vaguely legit :p
> 
> as always, all comments/kudos/feedback appreciated :) X


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> insert filler chapter here....

Thanksgiving came and went in a blur of turkey and pumpkin pie and before Kili knew it he was on a plane, heading back home. His parents were full of questions about his course and his friends and his studies and Kili batted their questions off as best he could. Ori got in touch with him to invite him over for New Year’s and Kili went. He was simultaneously saddened and relieved that Fili wasn’t there – presumably he had gone home to England for the holidays and besides, Kili didn’t think he could stomach the sight of Fili with his tongue down fireman-guy’s throat when the clock struck midnight. Instead, he landed a wet smacker of a kiss on Ori’s cheek and cackled as Ori squealed, wiping his cheek and glowering.

  
  
All too soon it was time to head back to classes. Ori snoozed and drooled on Kili’s shoulder on the ride back in Faramir’s car, Eowyn having claimed shotgun of course.

  
  
The first week of the new semester started just as the last one had left off – drinking too much, barely surviving off burnt canteen food and overdosing on popcorn and candy in front of Netflix when they really should have been studying. Kili was somewhat disgruntled when he saw Fili and Darren together at the union bar on the very their first night out since coming back – he still had no real reason to hate Darren, but he couldn’t ignore the bitter stab of disappointment at seeing Darren’s arm around Fili’s neck as they swigged their beers at the far end of the table from him – somewhere in the deep hopeful depths of his heart he’d hoped they’d split up over the holidays. But Fili looked happy and he couldn’t begrudge Fili his happiness.

  
  
Though he could begrudge his own big feet as he tripped, accidentally spilling the three drinks he was balancing in his hands all over the table, sparking an eruption of gasps around the booth and a stream of apologies from his own mouth as he scrambled to soak up the liquid with some measly paper napkins, and it was then that Kili realized that whatever his new years resolutions (to work harder, to drink less, to read more, to watch less TV) – this semester really was going to be just like the last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... a necessary evil to set up the story for the next plot development!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you lucky sods! two chapters in one day (even if the last one was so short it could barely constitute a chapter ;)) hope you enjoy!

Kili was rushing – as usual. One day he would master the 9 AM wake up for a 10 AM class – but today was not the day. Campus was practically empty as he hurried along the uphill path, which was either a good sign, if everyone else was skipping this morning, or a very bad one, if everyone was already there.  
  


A girl wearing a huge smile shoved a flyer in his face. “Do you want to audition for the spring fashion show?”  
  


“Um, no thanks,” Kili muttered, terrified.  
  


“But it’s for charity,” the girl insisted, looking at him as if he’d just said he murdered puppies and ate their brains for fun.  
  


“I’m sorry, I really –“  
  


“You’d be perfect! You got the face that’s for sure,  _mm_ those cheekbones, the things I could do to you! And the body oh yes, come on, turn around, give us a spin.” She put her hands on him and bodily pushed him until he turned around, half-stumbling. “Perfect! Now walk.”  
  


“I, uh – “  
  


“Excellent, you’ve got the whole lanky-awkward-urban thing going, it’s so edgy it’s perfect! Perfect-perfect- _perfect_ , you’re hired! Just come to the final round of auditions this Saturday at the auditorium and it’ll be official, although for you I’m pretty sure its only a formality! Well, bye now! See you Saturday!”

  
She shoved a flyer in his face one more time and jogged off to hassle someone else. Kili couldn’t help feeling slightly ambushed as he continued to class, stuffing the flyer into his pocket – if he heard the word  _perfect_ one more time he thought he’d punch someone.  
  


“You got  _asked?_ ” Ori pouted later when he recounted the story to him and Faramir. “I actually auditioned last week and they turned me away.”  
  


“She said it was their final round of auditions, you could still go,” Kili shrugged. “You could go instead of me.”  
  


“No thanks.” Ori pursed his lips. “One rejection is enough. And what the hell, you’re thinking of not going?”  
  


“Me in a fashion show? You’ve got to be kidding,” Kili gasped.  
  


“You have to do it! It’s the biggest non-sporting event in the social calendar! And it’s for charity!”  
  


“I wish people would stop saying that,” Kili muttered. “I’d rather just pay for a ticket to see the thing.”  
  


“You  _need_ to go – you were even asked, she said you were perfect.”  
  


“She probably says that to everyone,” Kili said, rolling his eyes.  
  


“Well, you can’t  _not._ You never know, the audition may not turn out and you’ll have nothing to worry about anyway.”  
  


“Yeah,” Kili thought happily, tucking back into his sandwich. “It’ll probably be terrible.”  
  


If Kili had been hoping Ori would forget about it, no such luck - it was Ori who practically pushed him out of the door, sending him off with explicit directions for how to get to the auditorium scribbled on a scrap of paper. He was still considering going to a coffee house and just telling Ori he didn’t get a part even as he pushed open the door. He gave his name to the girl standing at the door and went to stand by the wall, where it looked like some other potential models were. Two in particular caught his attention, a girl and a boy both tall and slender, refined features and cream-coloured skin and slightly haughty expressions. They both had long hair, the boy’s platinum blonde and straight, the girls a rich shade of red, a slight twist to it as it tumbled, no,  _swam_ down her back, stopping just short of her hips. Well, if this was the competition he stood no chance.  
  


“Hi, is this the place for the fashion show auditions?”  
  


Kili had stopped being surprised when Fili turned up at less than inopportune moments. It was life’s new way of making any situation that could potentially have been awkward life-threatening.  
  


Fili joined them in the model’s corner, his eyes meeting Kili’s briefly before the girl who had first assaulted Kili on the street started clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention.  
  


“Alright y’all!” she called. “Let’s get this show on the road.”  
  


Kili took a deep breath and kept remembering Faramir’s heartening words: “If you’re really as bad as you think you are, you won’t get in and then you’ll have nothing to worry about."  
  


It went wonderfully, of course. And that was how Klii became involved in one of the university’s major events without really trying or wanting to be at all.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I have no idea if American universities have the same custom of charity fashion shows like English universities do – but it is rather convenient for my story so please bear with :D !
> 
> as always, let me know your thoughts! all kudos/comments/feedback appreciated X


	8. Chapter 8

Model or not, alcohol could probably constitute as being on a liquid diet, Kili thought, as he helped himself to another cup of punch. Ori’s brother had invited everyone around for drinks again. Only, whenever Nori did that, things tended to grow from being ‘just-drinks’ to full-blown house parties. Nori had a  _gift_ .  
  
Fili was here of course. And The Attachment. Kili refused to call him Darren, as if giving him a name would clarify his existence, although he’d have to recognize him as a conscious sentient being sooner or later, given how he and Fili seemed to have been going steady for months now.  
  
Luckily The Attachment hadn’t stayed long. He’d left about half an hour ago, looking kinda angry and closing the front door behind him with a little more force than was probably necessary. Oh well. Kili didn’t miss him.  
  
The music was blasting as Kili sipped his punch, looking around for his friends. Faramir was with Eowyn of course – they tended to get very horny when they were drunk so Kili decided to give them a wide berth. He groaned as he saw Ori snuggled up on the sofa, tickling tonsils with –  _eurgh!_ that tall dishy sophomore in their Ancient History class? that traitor! – and even Gimli was – yup, wrapped around a tall blonde in the corner. Kili was pretty certain he recognized the tall blond from the fashion show auditions but he was too grumpy at being utterly third-wheeled to concentrate on that much.  
  
The contents of his punch cup were half depleted –  _that_ was quick. Half full? Or half empty? Either way he needed a refill. He toppled back towards the kitchen, noting how the world was spinning pleasantly, but voices coming from the yard through the open window caught his attention.  
  
“You know what I think it is? You deliberately pick bad men because you’re too scared of being in a serious relationship with someone you actually care about.”  
  
“What? That’s absurd.”  
  
“Really, Fili! You’re scared of loving someone and making yourself vulnerable so you pick bad men who you know won’t last, men who don’t care about you and who you don’t care about either because you’re too scared of being alone!”  
  
“We care about eachother in our own way,” Fili growled. “Not that it’s any of your bloody business.”  
  
“Fili, it’s okay. It’s not pathetic. It’s completely understandable, considering what you’ve been through but –“  
  
“Nori, shut up!”  
  
“Fili, hey, calm-“  
  
“I'm sick of this! Honestly, why can’t you guys be supportive? Or keep your opinions to yourself, its none of your fucking  _business_ !”  
  
Kili heard a door slamming, the sound reverberating in his head and making it swim. He tottered down the hall to the[ front door](http://s.igmhb.com/click?v=R0I6MTE2MjE3OjgzMzE6ZnJvbnQgZG9vcjo4NjYwNGFlZDc0MGZkMjJkODYwMGNlOTBmNTdkYWU1ZDp6LTI0OTItMjcxNTE3NzU6YXJjaGl2ZW9mb3Vyb3duLm9yZzozMzE0MTI6NTUyNmFjY2NmMmJlODg2Yzg1OWQ4YmRlOGJmZWU3OTQ6NGEwNzVkMjUzNDQ5NGE0MTlmNjYxMDZkMjlmZDE5NWY6MTpkYXRhX3NzLDc3N3gxMjM5O2RhdGFfcmMsNTtkYXRhX2ZiLG5vOzo1NDI5NjQx&subid=g-27151775-f81b49a877c9414c883944ca5e7d325b-&data_ss=777x1239&data_rc=5&data_fb=no&data_tagname=A&data_ct=small_square&data_clickel=link), thinking a little air and maybe some food would do him good, and maybe it was time to start heading home. He wandered tipsily through the empty streets, clutching at the occasional street-lamp for support. The smell of cheap oil and grease emanating from the fast-food joint made his head swim nastily and his stomach churn and he staggered over to the narrow alley next to the fast food joint, leaning on the brick wall next to the foul-smelling dumpster.  
  
He could vaguely hear the chattering of people inside the fried chicken bar as he dry-heaved, wondering just how much of his dinner was left inside his body. He heard footsteps echoing off the buildings on the street, soles scuffing as they came to an abrupt halt.  
  
Kili groaned, but it was the sound was lost in his next retch.  
  
“M’fine,” he tried, knowing it was pointless as he felt hands closing over his upper arms, pulling him up onto his unsteady feet and leading him back to the illuminated street, in the direction of his dorms.  
“Why is it whenever I see you you’re always in a bad way?” Fili muttered.  
  
“I’m not an alcoholic,” Kili told him, irked.  
  
“Yes you are. You have a drinking problem.”  
  
“You have a man problem.” The words were out of his mouth before Kili could do anything to stop them and he felt a tiny twinge of - what was it? guilt? fear? - as Fili stopped short, eyes narrowing.  
  
“Whatever,” Fili muttered, giving a tiny shake of his head as he started walking again, tugging on Kili’s elbow to make him follow.  
  
“That was rude. Sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay. You don’t know what you’re saying anyway.”  
  
I do, Kili wanted to say, but instead he said: “I’m sorry as well. For the call. Ages ago. I scratched your number off the wall,” he added for good measure.  
  
“You did?”  
  
“Yes,” Kili said indignantly. It was true. A week after the ‘incident’ (as soon as he had extracted the name and location of the place they had been to that night from his hazy vague memory) Kili went back to the club with a thick permanent marker and blacked out the message and Fili’s number underneath it. The next time he’d gone in there someone had turned it into an huge obscene penis. But that was the men’s restroom for you.  
  
To Kili’s surprise, Fili’s lip twitched into something that almost resembled a smile. To Kili’s even greater surprise, Fili actually chuckled.  
  
“Thanks. I was almost going to change my number before the calls stopped.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Kili slurred. “You know who did it?”  
  
“No. Not that I care.”  
  
Kili opened his mouth but before he could say anything tripped over his feet and bit his tongue. Tongue throbbing, he couldn’t help but feel that was fate intervening before he could say something stupid. Huh. How ironic.  
  
“Goodnight,” Fili said, depositing him at his door. “Enjoy your hangover tomorrow.”  
  
“I will,” Kili said defensively around his swollen tongue. He thought he heard a faint laugh as Fili strode on down the path, hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, and disappeared into the darkness.  
  
Suddenly exhausted, Kili turned to the front door, sighing with relief as he found his keys after a few moments’ frantic fishing around in his pocket. It was few more minutes before he managed to get it in the door and he almost fell over when it swung open unexpectedly, but he managed to stumble upstairs with minimal cacophony (so he thought) and collapsed into bed, half-heartedly peeling off his outer layers before settling that sleeping in jeans couldn’t be too uncomfortable. He was wrong, but by the morning the red groove from the button digging into his stomach was the least of his worries.  
  
Especially, he remembered with a groan, as the first fashion show rehearsal started in ten minutes.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the absence... wont bore you with the details why, but hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, all comments/feedback welcomed X


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quick recap of last chapter, which is where this chapter takes off: Fili has just taken a very drunken Kili back to his house, where he wakes up in the morning to remember the first fashion show rehearsal started in ten minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being so absent recently. i am determined to finish this story, however long it takes, so thank you so much to everyone for sticking with this story despite its ups and downs! X

When Kili finally stumbled into the auditorium, there were already a string of people, all girls, walking one behind the other in a tight oblong circle at one end of the room. One of the organizers spared him a glare for being late before turning back to concentrate on coaching the girls on their walk. Kili recognized the long-haired redhead among them, striding tall and straight, shoulders back, her regal mouth set and eyes to kill.  
  
Kili made towards the far corner, where the rest of the models were lounging. He could have jumped out of his skin when he laid eyes on the tall blonde he suddenly remembered seeing with Gimli last night – what the hell had that been about? The blond boy looked slightly the worse for wear, and Kili felt a split second of smugness before his roiling stomach and a shiver from his own hangover put him back in his place. He dropped his bag and collapsed down on the floor next to it.  
  
Eventually he spotted Fili, leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, watching the girls as they sashayed and strolled in turn. With what felt like an enormous effort, Kili got to his feet and headed over to him.  
  
“You’re lucky they started with the girls,” Fili told him conversationally as Kili leaned on the wall next to him, trying to ignore how his head was spinning from the effort.  
  
“I didn’t have the best start to the morning.”  
  
“I can imagine.”  
  
“Yeah.” Kili dragged a hand through his hair, wishing he’d washed it. “Um. Thanks. For last night. For taking me home.”  
  
“No problem.” Fili sounded like he meant it.  
  
“No really. I live miles from you.”  
  
“It’s not that far.”  
  
“Where were you even going?’  
  
“Just for a walk.”  
  
Kili studied him subtly from the corner of his eye – Fili was wearing the same clothes from last night, if his memory could be trusted. Kili decided he wouldn’t ask.  
  
“Do you know what the schedule is today?” Frankly, Kili was looking forward to going back home and having a nap.  
  
“It’s walks first. A little basic training, making sure people know the dos and don’ts. And then learning some proper choreography, probably underwear walk first. We have to give our sizes to the girl over there, if you don’t know them she can measure you.” Fili pointed to a girl in the opposite corner with a clipboard.  
  
Kili stared at him in horror. “There’s an  _underwear_ walk?”  
  
Fili smirked. “Yep.”  
  
Kili groaned, casting a subtle look around at the other male models – all of whom made him look positively scrawny in comparison.  
  
“Don’t worry, it’s optional.”  
  
“Thanks. You could have mentioned that the first time.”  
  
“You should have seen the look on your face.”  
  
Kili eyed the tall blonde again. “I don’t recognize almost half of these people. Who are they?”  
  
“They’re not from Erebor. They’re from Mirkwood College. The show is co-organized by the two schools.”  
  
Fili turned around, and Kili noticed for the first time he’d brought a guitar. He unzipped it from its case, revealing a smooth guitar made from a dark brown wood. He picked it up and sat on a stool, giving it a few tuning strokes before settling in and starting to play.  
  
“That’s nice,” Kili told him, listening to the buttery melodies, upbeat but nonetheless smooth, quite different to anything he’d ever heard before.  
“Is it yours?” he asked.  
  
“What, the song or the guitar? The guitar’s mine. I leave it here in the auditorium for safekeeping. You should hear the carnage when I bring it home.” Fili made a face. “Bofur might think he’s Brian May, but he’s wrong.”  
  
“And the song?”  
  
“It’s by a guy called Newton Faulkner. He’s pretty great.” Fili played for a few more minutes, and Kili leaned back to listen, the music soothing and distracting him from his headache.  
  
Fili began to sing softly. “On and on…. The rain will fall…. But I won’t feel a thing….”  
  
He didn’t notice his eyes had slid closed until a female voice he recognized said, “You’re really good. You should play at the show.”  
  
Kili opened his eyes and saw the by now familiar girl who had first approached him in the street. She was wearing a nametag today, as were all the organizers – Alice.  
  
Fili didn’t take his fingers off the guitar but started playing more quietly. “Thanks. But really?”  
  
“Absolutely. We’re looking for entertainment between some of the walks. You’d be awesome.”  
  
“Thank you.” Fili smiled and Alice beamed back.  
  
“We’ll talk about it after rehearsals. Now it’s time for the boys to walk.” Alice raised her voice on the last sentence, waving her hands to the rest of the guys stretched out against the wall.  
  
Kili pushed himself to his feet and resigned himself to the moment of truth.  
  
It was just typical that Fili was a natural at this. He didn’t have much height to compete with some of the other muscle-monsters there, but he walked with an understated swagger and a smoulder in his eyes that nonetheless drew all eyes to him.  
  
“Yes,  _yes_ ! Just  _look_ at the attitude  _emanating_ from this guy!” Alice grabbed Kili’s shoulder and pulled him to the side. “Everybody!  _This_ is what I want you to emulate for the urban fashions walk!”  
  
She made him walk up and down three times on his own in front of everyone, while she broke down and commentated on his movements. Kili felt his face burning and hoped it didn’t show – honestly, he was just walking? He could tell a few of the other beefier models were equally bemused, and he couldn’t agree more. He saw Fili smothering a laugh, hiding his mouth behind his hand, and when Alice finally let him join the rest of the group he stuck his tongue out at him.  
  
“That was so embarrassing,” he muttered.  
  
“Really? Couldn’t tell by the way your cheeks are practically on  _fire_ .”  
  
“Shut  _”_  
  
“May I have everybody’s attention please?” The girl speaking shot the two of them a pointed look before looking around at them all. “Please don’t forget to give your measurements, if you haven’t yet, to Christina with the clipboard. And next rehearsal same time same place next week. Great work everybody!”  
  
She started clapping, and they all indulged her in a brief spattering of applause before grabbing their bags and filing towards the door.  
  
“Fili? We need to talk before you go. About the music.” Alice was beaming at him.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“See you later,” Kili said.  
  
“Bye Kili,” Alice chirruped.  
  
“Bye.” Fili held up his hand in a wave.  
  
Kili followed the rest of the models to the door, speed-walking home to where food, a proper shower and, most importantly, a  _bed_ was waiting for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... progress? at last :)
> 
> the song Fili is singing is 'Let's get together' (no, no hidden meaning im afraid :p) find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUKqesRKEFI
> 
> I would have made Alice another LOTR/Hobbit character but I realize ive used up practically all the female characters I can think of, and she’s not that important but she does deserve a name. also, the fact that she’s an OC kind of helps to emphasize the point that the fashion show is the first time Fili and Kili have ever really been together on their own without the rest of their friendship group. wow, overanalysed a bit? maybe :p hope you all enjoyed, as always all comments, feedback and kudoses are very much appreciated :) X


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an extra long chapter to make up for my absence... hope you enjoy! X

Alice wouldn’t let Kili pass on the underwear walk.  
  
“I can’t possibly wear this!” Kili insisted, holding up the black briefs with horror. The thought of wearing nothing but _those_ on a catwalk in front of possibly hundreds of people made his skin crawl with embarrassment.  
  
“Why not? Come on, Kili, I have big plans for this walk and they involve _you_.”  
  
“I don’t have the body for this. Trust me.”  
  
Alice raised a sardonic eyebrow.  
  
“I’m not going to prove it,” Kili told her, preempting her question. She laughed.  
  
“We can fight about this another time. Where’s your friend?”  
  
“What friend?”  
  
“Fili. He’s not usually late.”  
  
“Probably with Darren,” Kili said moodily. He’d seen the two of them walking in the park earlier together, arm in arm. Yuck.  
  
“Do I detect a little jealousy?” Alice quipped. “Just because he’s got a boyfriend doesn’t mean he cares about his friends any less. He just has to divide his attention.”  
  
“We’re not friends,” Kili corrected her. “More like – acquaintances.”  
  
Alice looked confused for a second, but the door bursting open made them both turn around.  
  
“Sorry I’m late,” Fili panted. “Did I miss much?”  
  
“You’re just in time.” Alice smiled at them both and turned away to talk to a few of the other organizers.  
  
“Where were you?” Kili asked, trying to sound casual.  
  
“Library. Gotta catch up on my essays. What with this and all the rest of the stuff that’s going on I’ve barely got any time to do anything academic.”  
  
Kili’s heart lightened considerably. “Yeah, I know the feeling. At least this will all be over by next week.”  
  
“I can’t believe it’s here so soon,” Fili admitted. He blew a strand of hair, which had worked itself loose from his messy ponytail, out of his eyes. Kili resisted the urge to reach out a hand and tuck it behind his ear.  
  
“Oh, that reminds me, Nori’s having people over tonight. You’re coming right?”  
  
“Oh, um, yeah, sure. What time-?“ Kili began, but he was interrupted as Alice yelled: “Okay everybody! This is our last week of rehearsals before the big days next week! Let’s get this show on the _road!_ ”  
  
\---------  
  
By the time Kili got home, he had barely enough time to scrape together some dinner and get changed before he was chivvied outside by Ori and Faramir. As expected, Nori had said ‘just a few drinks’ – so the place was heaving, of course.  
  
“Just thought we’d do a little early celebrating!” Nori smiled widely at them, enveloping the three of them in a large group hug. “Seein’ as we’ve got some of the _sexiest_ models in town in attendance!”  
  
Ori wrinkled his nose. “Ew, you’re drunk.”  
   
“And you need to join me in this heavenly bliss.”  
   
Ori raised an eyebrow as Bofur approached. “Bo, please control your boyfriend.”  
   
“Have a little respect!” Nori called in mock outrage as Bofur, shaking his head slightly, wrapped his arms around him and towed him away.  
   
“Hey, is Fili around?” Kili asked, but Bofur was already out of earshot amidst the swell of people. He glanced around but the blonde head was nowhere.  
   
A little dejected, Kili took enough shots to make him drunk enough to say yes when Ori suggested they go dance. Or at least, Ori danced – Kili bobbed his head and swayed a little and tried to pretend he was having fun until Gimli sidled up to him muttering: “Nori has nox. Wanna come?” So Kili found himself upstairs in a messy bedroom, under a glaring yellow light with Gimli, a considerably more sober Nori, and a few other older students, being handed a green balloon, filled with something someone was dispensing from what looked like a whipped cream canister.  
   
“Breathe it in like you would with normal air but then keep going, don’t take the balloon away from your mouth.”  
   
On the count of three they started and for a few seconds Kili couldn’t feel anything, then the world started swelling, little black spots popping in front of his eyes as shapes ballooned and shrank in his vision. He felt a weird pressure on his ears. His whole body felt like it was shrinking, and he couldn’t feel his arms, or his legs, or any part of himself at all.  
   
People were laughing, sounding like they were enjoying themselves, but it sounded distorted, too loud and too quiet at intervals, all of it making his brain throb.  
  
“Hey, Kili, come on. You’re not alright. Come on.”  
  
His ears were ringing. His head felt like a balloon itself as someone helped him get to his feet, his numb fingers clutched in another hand as someone towed him away, across the landing, down the stairs, through the hall, and finally, outside, outside, where everything was swallowed in blackness, soothing for his overstretched senses. And he could breathe again.  
  
“I’m fine,” he said.  
  
“You didn’t look fine up there.”  
  
“Just needed some air.” Kili blinked as the world returned to normal, warped objects shrinking back to their normal size and he could feel his body again. “Man, that stuff is weird. I heard like – noise in my ears.”  
  
“Where else would you hear noise?” Fili chuckled and Kili shot him an unimpressed glare before going on:  
  
“And the word was going blue.”  
  
“Yeah. Nox does that. Do you want to go home?”  
  
“Yeah, maybe.”  
  
“I’ll walk you.”  
  
“You don’t have to, it’s ok. I feel fine.”  
  
“I think I should, given how you almost passed out up there.”  
  
“I didn’t _almost pass out_.” But Kili didn’t argue any more as they continued down the street, in the direction of Kili’s dorms.  
  
In practically no time at all they were outside Kili’s front door. “Do you want to come in for a drink and a game of cards or something?” Kili asked. “It’s not that late.”  
  
“It’s not that early,” Fili said, checking his watch. “But hey, yeah, why not.”  
  
“We could make this interesting,” Kili leered. “Have you ever played strip poker?”  
  
“Is that a challenge?”  
  
“Why? Are you scared?”  
  
“Fresher, _please_.”  
  
“We’ll see who’s saying ‘please’ after a few rounds,” Kili assured him smugly.  
  
\-----  
  
“This was so not how it was meant to turn out,” Kili grumbled. He was sitting on the floor in nothing but his boxers, his clothes, shoes and one sock piled next to him, whilst on the other side of the coffee table Fili dealt, fully dressed.  
  
“Flush. What have you got?”  
  
“A nine, a ten, and a three,” Kili grumbled.  
  
“Strip.”  
  
“What would your boyfriend think of you trying to get me out of my clothes?” Kili wondered sardonically, peeling off his single remaining sock and dropping it on the heap next to him.  
  
“I don’t know. He doesn’t have to have an opinion on everything.”  
  
“I don’t like him.” Kili told him bluntly. Fili laughed.  
  
“Join the club. You and Bofur and Nori would have a lot to talk about.”  
  
“Do you like him?”  
  
“I can take care of myself.”  
  
“That doesn’t answer my question.”  
Fili laid down his cards triumphantly.  
  
“Four of a kind. What have you got?”  
  
Kili glowered at his cards and took off his watch, laying it on the table. Fili gathered up the cards.  
  
“Double jacks. And you have?”  
  
Kili glanced down and flung his cards down triumphantly. “Ha! Flush ace to king!”  
  
“At last. A little luck your way.” Fili gave him a mock gratified smile before leaning down and untying his boot laces.  
  
“Oh no you don’t!” Kili protested. “I'm practically naked here, you have to take off more than just a shoe.”  
  
“Fine.” Fili undid the buttons on the collar of his polo and pulled it over his head. Kili felt his mouth suddenly turn very dry, and he took a hasty glug of his water, slopping a little down his own bare chest.  
  
Fili noticed nothing, gathering up the cards to shuffle again.  
“Are you going back to England for spring break?” Kili asked, half by means of distracting himself.  
  
Fili snorted. “I don’t live in England.”  
  
“What? But you’re English,” Kili said, confused.  
  
“I live in Boston. But no, I think I'm going home. I’d rather be home than watch the carnage.”  
  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk,” Kili realized.  
  
“I don’t like being drunk,” Fili said, dealing three for each of them before laying three cards on the table before them. “I don’t mind drinking. But drunk people do stupid things.”  
  
“Yeah…” Kili ducked his head, flushing slightly.  
  
“Three queens. What you got?”  
  
Kili stared down at his cards, and then down at his remaining piece of clothing in horror. “Two fours and a …. Six?”  
  
There was a second of horror-struck silence, until Fili glanced at his watch. “Wow, it’s late. I should go.”  
  
“Saved by the bell,” Kili sighed, picking up the two glasses on the table and carrying them through to the sink.  
  
Fili shrugged on his jacket. “Thanks for the beer.”  
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
“We should do this again sometime.”  
  
“Except maybe we should play for money instead of clothes,” Kili muttered. Fili grinned impishly.  
  
Kili made to walk Fili to the door but Fili waved him off. “No need. Stay inside, you’ll freeze.”  
  
“It’s not my fault I'm not wearing any clothes!” Kili told him in mock indignation. Fili turned around at the front door and stuck out his tongue.  
  
“See you at dress rehearsals tomorrow.”  
  
“Bye.”  
  
The door closed with a snap. Kili leaned back with his hands on his hips, hearing his back pop, before shaking himself and turning back to the living room to gather up the two empty beer bottles and the cards strewn all over the coffee table. He dumped the glasses in the sink, deciding it was too late to do the washing up. He rubbed his stomach absently, wondering idly if it would be worth shoving some chicken nuggets and fries in the oven.  
  
“Who was that?” Kili turned, seeing Ori framed in the doorway, wearing a pair of baggy pajamas and rubbing his eyes.  
  
“I didn’t realize you were home,” Kili said.  
  
“I left pretty soon after you abandoned me,” Ori glowered at him and Kili felt a stab of guilt.  
  
“Sorry. I’m not much of a dancer.”  
  
“I noticed. Anyway, who were you talking to?”  
  
“Just Fili.” Kili decided that the half hour the fries would take to cook would definitely be worth it. He rummaged in the freezer for the bag of cut potatoes.  
  
Ori still looked half asleep as he walked to the faucet and poured himself a glass of water. He looked at Kili and paused.  
  
“Why are you not wearing clothes?”  
  
“We were playing poker. Strip poker,” Kili clarified. Ori raised his eyebrows, but appeared either too sleepy or uninterested to question it further. He finished the rest of his glass and dumped it in the sink next to Kili’s.  
  
“Well, I’m going back to bed.” Ori’s eyes widened in dismay as Kili upended the bag of frozen potatoes onto a tray and shoved it into the oven. “You’re eating _now_?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Ugh. It’s so late.” Ori grimaced. “Isn’t the fashion show soon?”  
  
“Why do you ask? You calling me fat?”  
  
“No reason.” Ori glanced pointedly at the clock and sighed. “I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.”  
  
“Night.” Ori disappeared up the stairs.  
  
Kili sprawled on the couch to wait for his fries. He thought about what classes he had tomorrow, his assignments and, with dread, deadlines. He had barely enough time to do anything for his studies recently. And exams were coming up too.  
  
The oven pinging drew Kili out of his macabre thoughts. He tipped them onto a plate, squirted them with a healthy coating of ketchup, and headed upstairs to eat them in his bedroom, like the happy slob he was, and catch up on last week’s _Game of Thrones_.

 


	11. Chapter 11

“KILI!!! WHY IS THE OVEN STILL ON WHEN IT IS TEN AM???”

  
“Shit!” Kili swore under his breath as he jerked awake. He flew down the stairs two at a time and hurtled into the kitchen to come face to face with an extremely irate Ori.

  
“For fuck’s sake, why can’t you remember to _turn it off_ when you’ve finished with it?! That thing’s been on all night, we could have had a fucking fire!”

  
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to, I just forgot.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough! You can bet our electricity bill this month is gonna be huge and _you’re_ going to be paying the extra!”

Ori stayed in a bad mood all morning, probably understandably, Kili allowed. He maintained a sulky silence the whole walk to Professor Baggins’ lit class, and Faramir gave Kili a sympathetic look as they sat down at their usual table and pulled out their books.

As the day progressed, Kili realized with a sinking feeling that even after his musings last night, he was more screwed than he thought. Most of what Mr Baggins said about _The Scarlet Letter_ sounded thoroughly unfamiliar and Professor Grey could have been speaking gibberish for all he understood in their two hour philosophy seminar. By the time they got out for lunch Kili’s head was spinning and he was grateful to distract himself with food, even if Ori was still pointedly not talking to him. Whatever. Kili knew from experience that Ri’s could be extremely petty.

Kili decided to spend the afternoon in the library in an attempt to dig himself out of the academic hole he had found himself in as a result of his complete non-effort scholastically over the last few weeks. He spent most of his time procrastinating, before packing up with a sigh and scooting off to the auditoriums for rehearsals.

This was the final rehearsal. Which meant it was the dress rehearsal. Meaning that by the end of the night, they would have to have their cues, changing times, and choreography perfect before they would be allowed to leave. Kili was undecided whether or not to dread it, but the decision was made as he saw, with a groan, the pair of infamous briefs labeled ‘Kili’, draped over one of the racks in the changing room.

“We’ve got some good makeup artists who could paint you a six-pack if you want,” Alice suggested.

“Thanks,” Kili replied sarcastically, but his sarcasm was missed on Alice as she thrust the offending item into his hands and dragged him towards the newly erected runway.

“Just _go_ in there and try it on!” she insisted, pushing him backstage to the left wing, which had been assigned as the men’s changing rooms.

It wasn’t that bad, Kili allowed, doing a little spin for himself in front of the mirror. And on the plus side, at least he got to wear black briefs, not tight white ones that showed almost literally _everything_.

“It’s alright,” he allowed as he emerged, having pulled his jeans back on. “But I’m _not_ doing the swimwear one in Speedos, no matter what you say.”

“Deal,” Alice beamed.

Kili was in six walks. That meant six choreographies to learn and five hasty outfit changes behind the wings (he was about to feel sorry for himself before he realized some of the girls were in twice as many and he decided to shut up). He assumed be wearing the underwear all night underneath his various other outfits, but when he pointed this out, the look Alice gave him could have made a zombie quail.

“That is _disgusting_. You don’t realize how hot and sweaty you’ll be by the time the grand finale comes. No way.”

“It saves time,” Kili grumbled, though he was careful to wait til Alice was out of earshot.

And Kili was realizing just how precious time was as they ran through the walks again and again, shaving seconds off their changing times with each go, until the organizers were finally satisfied. By the time Kili got home it was ten o clock and he was barely awake enough to shove together something that could be called a meal and toppled into bed not long after. When he woke the next morning, it was with a grim determination and the heartening thought that in forty eight hours, all this would finally be _over_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter... bit of a filler to get the story moving! and i can promise the next chapter will make up for it in length :) hope you all enjoyed nonetheless X


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The (first) show!

They were doing two shows, one at each of the universities. The first was at Erebor, and tomorrow all the models from Erebor would be taking a coach to Mirkwood to repeat the show there. Although all the models were supporting eachother in theory, there was of course an unspoken rivalry that each of the models wanted the show to go better at their own school to prove they were the best. 

The auditorium at Erebor had been transformed. The walls had been draped with black fabric, with the addition of fairy lights around the door and on the curtains flanking the wings at the end of the newly-erected runway, disguising where the models would be changing. 

The organisers clapped their hands and called for a final run through, before finally before sending them behind to change into their first outfits, ready for the first walk of the real show. They heard the background music start and voices as people started filling the auditorium.

Fili poked his head between the curtains. “It’s packed out there,” he told them. “And – crap! Nori and Ori and co are here. In the front row!”

“Noo,” Kili groaned.

“Is Gimli with them?” Legolas asked hopefully.

Kili and Fili exchanged a look, mirroring eachothers’ sardonic smirk, before Fili replied: “Yes.”

Kili was about to ask if Darren was there, before deciding he didn’t want to know. Fili whipped his head back behind the curtains as the music suddenly grew louder and the chatter of the audience dimmed. The comperes climbed up onto the stage and started welcoming the guests in booming voices.

“Break a leg,” Fili whispered. 

“Thanks,” Kili whispered. “You too.” 

His words were lost as the hosts’ welcome speeches finished and the music rose again dramatically. After the adrenaline-inducing intro to get the audience excited, the beat slowed to something peppy but not too fast. It was time to start.

It was Casual Wear first. Kili wasn’t in the first walk – his first entrance was in the second set, in Urban Fashions. His heart was thumping even though he wasn’t onstage yet. He smoothed his beanie over his head for the umpteenth time, checking it was still in place but too scared to check in the mirror. He could hear oohs and ahs, smatterings of applause from as the models in Casual showcased their wares.

All too soon the music lowered. One of the comperes’ boomed their admiration before announcing the next walk to another wave of anticipatory applause. Music. Begin.

Kili stood in line behind the other Urban Models. His heart was pumping even faster now, whirring panickedly like a hummingbird under his sleek denim jacket. People in the queue disappeared one by one in front of him, until –

Kili stepped out onto the catwalk. All the tips Alice had given him, choreography fled his mind as the light blinded him, he a lump like a giant pill stuck in his throat, his heart pumping so hard and erratically he was sure the whole audience would see it until he forced his legs to move, and the world came flooding back. 

His feet fell back into the routine practiced over and over for weeks, and Kili suddenly felt a rush of exhilaration – he was on a stage, he was walking, and people were watching, smiling even! He reached the end of the catwalk and paused for a few seconds, drawing a few whoops as he shifted his hips to pose for the other side of the room. He caught a glimpse of his friends’ faces in the front row, all grinning at him except Ori, who threw him a laviscious wink, before Kili followed his cue to turn and walk, no, strut back, relishing in his own edgy arrogance, hands stuck carelessly in his pockets.

The contrast was astounding. As soon as Kili stepped behind the curtain out of eyeshot of the audience, he was shoved back to the clothes racks, where the rest of the models were a flurry of action, stripping off and yanking on, makeup artists fluttering about dusting faces furiously and topping up lipstick and fixing hair. In a matter of minutes he had managed to find his clothes in the near pitch-black of backstage, change, be poked and prodded and deemed satisfactory before being shoved towards the catwalk again, where he emerged, cool as a cucumber, to the approving cheers of the audience faced with his next outfit, an appropriately multicoloured tshirt and beachy shorts to match the bouncy music and new theme – Tie-Dye paradise. 

The show went on. Kili could see why people did this now – he knew he wasn’t wearing Gucci or Armani anyone famous, and he was only doing this in front of a bunch of his classmates and other people from his school, but it was still a rush. He’d never done anything like this before, and he felt himself growing more confident with every stride, even finding the guts to throw a few cheeky winks into the audience.

“You’re doing awesome!” Fili hissed, smiling and throwing him a thumbs up.

“Thanks!” But Fili had already emerged onto the catwalk, trademark smirk and understated swagger turned to its highest volume. 

Kili wasn’t in the next two walks – he took advantage of the opportunity to scarf some potato chips and relax a bit before his fourth and favorite walk. It was simply called ‘Edgy’ and Alice liked Kili’s walk so much for it she had put him in for two outfits in it. It was a phenomenal hurry changing into the second one and still making it to the catwalk in time for his cue, but he managed it – Kili noted it down as one of his life’s crowning achievements. 

The music dimmed and the spotlights went on, training onto the comperes who once again had taken to the stage between walks to introduce the next set. It was the grand finale, the one he had been dreading, but Kili had barely any time to worry as he staggered into the men’s wing to change – there was no hope of finding a secluded corner for some privacy, so he turned his back so if anyone saw anything it would at least be just his ass. 

He turned around and was immediately attacked by makeup artists, smearing and smudging and wiping and tweaking. He didn’t manage to catch a glimpse of his new self in the mirror but coming face to face with another of the male models in identical black briefs showed him what must be mirrored onto his own face – red and gold glitter battlestripes over his cheekbones and thick winged eyebrows over smouldering smoky eyes.

Craning his neck to see the other models, Kili saw that they were in white, to contrast his black. Their makeup was silver. Kili was confused (he really should have paid attention rather than tuning out when they were being briefed on their outfits) before someone shoved a headband with glittering red devil horns onto his head, and he noticed the small feathery wings worn by the models in white. Ah. Angels and devils. Classic.

“Hot damn! Looking good.” Alice swore, giving him a one over before gesturing at him. “Get in line, the walk’s started.”

This walk had been choreographed so the models entered the catwalk in pairs. The entrance to the catwalk was flanked by two lines of models, one from each line walking on stage for each cue. After leaving, they weren’t coming back. 

Kili stepped forward as the last model in front of him, a tall elegant girl in a wicked-looking black bra set with matching devil tail and knee-high boots took off onto the catwalk with her partner. It was only him left now. He was last. He looked up at his partner - Fili. 

“Are we last?” Kili whispered.

“Looks like it,” Fili hissed back.

“But this isn’t how we practiced!” 

“Things change!” Alice hissed. 

“It’ll be fine,” Fili assured him. 

Kili opened his mouth to protest but closed it almost immediately as Alice indicated their cue to go on and his heart leaped into his mouth, leaving no space for words. 

Fili stepped into the light, and Kili with him. The other models, in their pairs, had arranged themselves along the edges of the catwalk, leaving an open pathway for the two of them to walk down to the end.

“Go, hold hands! Hands up in triumph!” Kili barely heard Alice hiss as the crowd started applauding at the sight of them, the last pair, the grand finale. 

Fili’s fingers closed around Kili’s and raised their hands high. Kili stole a glance at him to see he wasn’t smiling, but had his model face on, the smouldering slight smirk. It made him look even more like an angel, a real angel, not simpering and sweet, but strong, powerful, prepared to fight and ready to win. 

Kili hoped he mirrored his partner’s expression as they started walking, together, steps in sync. He realized he felt elated, powerful. The noise of the crowd rose to a crescendo as they approached the edge of the catwalk, hands still clasped high above their heads. He felt like he’d won, although he didn’t know what, as they came to a stop, raising their hands even higher . 

They stood there for a full minute, bathing in the crowd’s applause. Eventually each of the pair of models turned and walked off stage, leaving them the only two on stage – they waited another few seconds, then turned and strutted back to the wings.

The cheering didn’t stop as they entered the wings, and Fili and Kili both joined in the models and organisers all clapping.

“On for the encore!”

The models strutted in a line onto the stage, clapping and smiling. Some members of the audience had stood up by this time, and Kili could hear whistles and whoops. The organizers were called on stage, blushing, and the hosts. Several models disappeared backstage and remerged with bouquets of flowers, which were presented to the hosts and Alice and her team. 

When all the thank-you speeches and well-done-everyone’s were over, they finally filed off stage, Kili and Fili bringing up the rear. Fili glanced behind him at the still-applauding audience, sending them a cheeky wink and a final wave before he stepped off the stage.

“You’re loving it,” Kili teased.

“Aren’t you?” Fili replied, and Kili couldn’t disagree. The curtains closed behind them. “Although can’t wait to get rid of all this wretched glitter!” What a night!”

“Yeah. One second, I just have to talk to Alice.” Kili spotted her in the crowd and made a beeline. “When were you planning to tell me you’d left me til last in the underwear walk?”

“Oh Kili, I knew you’d say no if I asked! And you’re too amazing to not be the grand finale.” Alice, far from looking contrite, was beaming. Kili goggled at her, but was interrupted from finding a retort as the backstage door flew open and Kili’s friends burst in.

“Hot damn, Kili you were amazing!” Ori crowed, flinging his arms around him in a congratulatory hug.

“Well done man!” Faramir grinned, holding his hand up for a high-five.

“’Well done’ doesn’t even cover it, my God Kili you were smokin’!” And Ori grabbed his cheeks and landed an enthiusiastic smacker of a kiss right on his lips. 

“Ori!” Kili spluttered.

“I'm just messing! But seriously, you looked incredible out there, sexiest one by far!”

“Thanks.” Kili couldn’t stop a grin in spite of himself. “It went pretty well didn’t it.”

“Hell yes!”

“Absolutely,” Faramir agreed. 

“So where’s the afterparty?” Ori demanded.

“After party? I don’t know if –“

“Yes, of course there is one, and of course you’re going to go! Alice told me to follow her.” Of course Ori would have gravitated towards Alice, the only person whose enthusiasm for fashion could parallel his. 

“Yeah.” And the more he thought about it, Kili realized the adrenaline buzz left from the show wasn’t fading, the thrill transformed into a thrumming excitement. “Let’s party.”

“Atta boy!” 

Kili shoved on his clothes and they left with the other models and their friends. The elated feeling was contagious, and Kili didn’t even mind that Darren was tagging along. The club was packed, full of happy models, organisers and audience members. Kili had a drink, then another. A handsome student whose face Kili remembered seeing in the audience winked at him in the scrum at the bar and paid for his drink. Kili winked back and raised his glass in a mock toast before heading to the heaving mess of bodies on the dancefloor.

They danced. Eventually Kili noticed he’d lost sight of Fili, but he realized he hadn’t been thinking about him for the last hour or so at all. He felt weightless, still ecstatic from the rush of the show, happy and tipsy and free.

“Shots!” Boromir roared, emerging from the jostling bodies around them, beaming around the shotglasses he had gathered in his hands. “One for you Giselle!”

Kili laughed, taking a glass and handing one to Ori. Boromir pushed one on Faramir. 

“Down it brother!” Kili tipped his head back and threw the clear liquid down his throat, feeling the satisfying burn and the stinging aniseed aftertaste of Sambuca. He licked the sweet residue off his lips and saw Boromir grinning at Faramir, who’d finished his shot and was making a face. 

“He’ll hate me in the morning,” Boromir said to Kili, still grinning. “Sambuca doesn’t agree with him!”

“Let’s hope its not genetic,” Kili told him. Boromir roared with laughter and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Let’s hope! More!”

“You’re evil!” Eyowyn laughed.

“What big brothers are there for!” Boromir crowed genially.

The night went on – Kili drank, danced, and laughed with his friends until the night was no longer young and they stumbled home after saying merry goodbyes to the others, he Eowyn and Ori supporting a staggering Faramir back to their dorms, where Kili met his bed with moan of happiness and was asleep in minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I was good enough at drawing to have illustrated this chatper so you could all see what I was seeing as I was writing this!!
> 
> Thanks for being so patient while I get this story together ☺ hope you liked the chapter and huge thanks for sticking with me this far X


	13. Chapter 13

When Kili cracked open his eyes the next morning, he realized he’d missed his alarm but hadn’t overslept. He sat up cautiously, and was relieved to realize that, apart from an initial dizziness and a small headache that would be easily solved by a few aspirin, he was mostly ok. He remembered Ori pushing water at him when he got home and reminded himself to thank his pushy ginger friend later. 

He stretched, got up, and took a shower, then traipsed downstairs for breakfast. He found a note on the fridge from Ori, saying he had gone to the library to study (Kili’s stomach did a guilty flip at the thought of his long-neglected academic work) and wishing him luck for later. Kili poured himself a bowl of cereal for breakfast (if it could be called breakfast at twelve thirty) and, rather sensibly he thought, made himself a few sandwiches out of leftovers for later – the bus taking them to Mirkwood was due to leave at two and he doubted there would be time dinner later, other than the snack table for the models backstage.   
He wrapped his sandwiches in aluminum foil and checked his watch, realizing he’d have to leave soon. He heard stumbling feet on the stairs and Faramir appeared in the kitchen. 

“Fuck.” Faramir squinted blearily at him before covering his eyes with his hands, presumably protecting him from the burning sunlight. “What happened.”

“Your brother bought everyone shots,” Kili told him. “And Eowyn poured you home.”

“I hate Boromir.”

“He said you’d say that.” Kili licked a smidgen of mayonnaise off his finger and shoved a bag of potato chips into his bag for good measure. “Right, I’m off. See you later.”

“Bye. Good luck.”

It was a nice spring day – it was only a few weeks til spring break started. And Fili would be going back home. Kili still didn’t have plans, depite Ori’s badgering him about it, but he was pretty sure he was too tired to manage a week of booze, beaches and dancing after the semester he’d had. Maybe he’d party next year.

He knocked on Fili’s door - they’d agreed at some point last night he would swing by so they could walk together to the bus stop where the coach would be taking them to Mirkwood. He knocked and vaguely heard someone call, “Door’s open!”

Bofur was sitting on the couch in front of the TV wearing only a pair of lurid pink pyjama bottoms.

“Hey Kili, how’s tricks?” 

“Hey Bo, how are you?” 

“Yeah, fine.” Bo winced and Kili was guessing, like Faramir, he was feeling the effects of last night. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m picking Fili up. He around?” 

Bofur’s lips pressed together. “He’s in his room, middle door upstairs,” he told him, turning his attention back to the TV.

“Thanks.” Kili climbed the stairs and knocked, mainly as a formality as the door was already ajar.

“Come in,” he heard Fili say. 

Fili’s room was messier than Kili would have expected, with novels and textbooks piled on the floor around the overladen bookcase. A few pages of sheet music were scattered on the floor. Kili glanced around bemusedly at the overflowing files, stuffed with pages of notes in hastily scrawled but surprisingly legible handwriting, before turning to Fili sitting at the desk by the window, at the moment with his back to him as he spun in his wheelie chair to lean his guitar carefully in the corner. He saw the nape of Fili’s pale neck, and Kili realized with a jolt that Fili had cut his hair – the long tresses no longer tumbling in a ponytail down to his shoulderblades – and was about to gasp in shock when Fili turned to face him and Kili almost choked. 

Fili’s hair was short, the golden waves shorn to a sandy crop. It made him look strangely older, but no less attractive, but for the cut lip and dark bruise spreading from his eyebrow to his cheekbone.

Kili got his breath back. “What-“

“He hit me. So I hit him back. You think this is bad you should see the other guy.” Fili’s tone was oddly apathetic, but Kili could detect a hint of defensiveness in his steely blue eyes, creeping through the neutral expression on his face.

“And the hair?” Kili asked, almost for lack of anything else to say.

“Felt like a change.” Fili spun away from him slightly to straighten up his guitar where it was leaning against the wall and closed a book lying open on his desk.

“Does it look okay?” Fili suddenly seemed very vulnerable, running his hand tentatively over his neck, fingers brushing against the newly shorn hair.

Kili thought the new haircut was the least of Fili’s worries but he wasn’t about to say so. He shrugged and tried to smile. “Yeah. I’ve got enough hair for both of us anyway.”

“Do you think they’ll mind? Alice and stuff, I mean.”

“No. And if they do, they’re wrong. It looks hot.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and Kili almost groaned, feeling his cheeks redden and wanting the floor to swallow him whole until Fili’s face shifted into a smile.

“Thanks. We should probably go.”

“Yeah.” Kili followed Fili out to the street. They walked together down to the bus stop, where the coach was already waiting. Kili felt secretly very pleased when Fili sat next to him on the bus, especially when Fili let him have the window seat. They chatted with the others on the thirty-minute journey across town to Mirkwood, laughing at the ones still nursing hangovers from the afterparty last night. No one mentioned Fili’s bruised face, and, apart from a few remarks on the haircut, nothing else was said.

Unfortunately, unlike Kili’s prediction, Alice was furious.

“What have you _done_?” she demanded, staring at Fili.

“Just a haircut.” Fili scowled, running his hand over it gingerly. It seemed like he still wasn’t used to the feeling of his new short hair.

“ _What_ is this?” she demanded, grabbing Fili by the shoulders and staring into his face. “It looks horrific! What did you do, get in some kind of fight?”

Kili caught her eye behind Fili’s back and shook his head vehemently. She paused for a second, and withdrew her hands with a huff.

“Well, I guess it’s nothing makeup can’t fix. Get over there and ask them to sort you out.” Her glare hadn’t entirely subsided but her expression looked somewhat softer as she pointed behind her, and Fili, doubtless glad to take his leave, followed her finger to Mirkwood Auditorium.

“What the hell happened?” she muttered to Kili as soon as Fili was out of earshot.

“Like you said, got in a fight.”

Alice’s anger melted into concern. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine.” Kili decided that version of the truth was better than what he suspected was the actual truth. “He didn’t start it,” he added.

“I hope he’s okay. Anyway, we’ve got three hours, get your ass in there and make sure you’ve eaten something, it’ll be a busy night.”

Alice’s anger might have abated – but Kili’s anger had been brewing in the back of his mind all day and was slowly starting to boil. He knew it could only have been Darren, that asshole - every time Kili saw Fili’s black eye, almost entirely hidden by concealer and foundation but still visible if you knew how to look for it, Kili wanted to punch him. The supreme dick. Fili seemed remarkably okay, and looked like he was having a good time, chatting and laughing with the other models as hair and makeup danced around them, sprucing and spraying and slicking. By comparison, Kili felt like a stormcloud, and he stayed a few metres away so his anger couldn’t inflict a bad mood onto anyone else.

The show started, and Kili ran through the same stages of yesterday – fear, excitement, and a touch of elation as he heard the first cheers and whoops at his sway on the catwalk. Naturally there was not as much applause as yesterday – the crowd’s support this time was definitely in favor of the Mirkwood models, which was fair enough on Mirkwood home turf he supposed.

The by-now familiar blur of changing clothes and retouching before he was out on the stage again, and again, and again, before he finally got a break. He looked around him and saw Fili sitting in a corner, alone. He was already in his final outfit, the Angel. He had his back against the wall, forearms resting on his knees, looking tired.

Kili got changed as quickly as he could and grabbed a couple of cold soda cans from the snack table.

He crouched next to Fili, holding one out wordlessly. Fili glanced at the can and gave a rueful smile, pressing it against his eye.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Kili sat down next to him, mirroring Fili’s pose, and cracked open the other can.

He was brimming with questions, ones he didn’t know how to say, ones he wanted to ask but didn’t think he’d want the answers. He settled for: “Does it hurt?”

“Stings a bit. The application and reapplication of makeup isn’t helping.” Fili mock grimaced in pain and annoyance, presumably to amuse. Kili tried to give a dry laugh, reckoning that was the best he could do at the moment. He passed the soda to Fili, who took a sip before handing it back.

“I hope you broke up with him.” Kili stared straight ahead of him, twirling the half-empty soda in his hands. It was taking all his willpower to mimic Fili’s even, neutral tone, and not to crush the can in his hand whenever he thought of the name _Darren_.

He thought he saw Fili glance at him questioningly. “Of course,” he said after a pause. “How did you…” Fili drifted off, seeming to think better of it. “Guess you’ve been talking to Nori and Bofur. You told me you didn’t like him once.”

Kili made a noncommittal noise and nodded, staring stonily at the ground.

“Not that it matters anyway.” Fili exhaled, long and slow. “Ancient history now.”

He smiled wryly at Kili, the crinkles at the corners of one of his eyes oddly stretched over the swollen skin, and Kili almost said _Not ancient enough_.

Fili noticed him staring and looked down. “Sorry. Not funny. I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Kili argued automatically.

“I am. Bofur and Nori reckon I am. I must be. It’s exactly what my dad did, except my mum was smart enough to learn from her mistakes.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“What happened?” Kili asked.

Fili waited a few more moments before replying.

“Dad was a drunk. He always had a nasty streak but it only really blossomed after he lost his job when I was a kid. He’d get pissed and come home and start abusing my mum, telling her horrible things, calling her horrible words. Then it got physical. When I was old enough to try and stop him, he started on me. That was the final straw and my mum ran away with me to Boston. We’ve been there ever since.”

“Your mum sounds like a strong woman,” Kili said, trying to inject a tone of honest admiration into his voice although his blood had run cold at Fili’s story.

“Yes. She’s amazing. Much stronger than me.”

“Don’t say that,” Kili argued. “I always hated that guy,” he mumbled darkly, glowering at the floor.

“He wasn’t a fan of you either.” Kili looked up at Fili, taken aback. Fili gestured at his eye.

“It happened after the walk yesterday, when we held hands? He didn’t understand that it was just for the show. Or maybe he was just looking for a fight, I don’t know. Had a few drinks and then had a go.”

“Jesus,” Kili muttered. The thought that he had been involved – almost even responsible, although he knew it wasn’t actually his fault – in Fili’s black eye made him feel sick.   
“Was it the first time?” Kili hated himself for asking but felt like he had to know.  
   
“Yes,” Fili muttered. “He’s been rough before, but nothing I thought I couldn’t handle. This was the first time it turned into a – proper fight. But anyway, enough about me, what about you?”  
  
Kili looked at him incredulously and almost laughed out loud. “You’re so _British_ you know that?”  
  
“How do you mean?”  
  
“You – you just got beaten up by your so-called boyfriend and you’re asking _me_ how _I_ am? That’s some kind of joke, right?”  
  
“You think I haven’t been through this all already with Nori and Bofur? Myself even? I’ve had bloody enough of it so I’d rather talk about something else if you don’t mind,” Fili said in a low voice. “If that makes me British, so be it.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Kili conceded, feeling chided. “Sorry. I just – yeah.”  
  
“Underwear walk! Angels, demons, outfits on!”  
  
Fili sucked in a breath and blew it out, puffing out his lips as he did so. “In some ways I can’t wait for this all to be over. I mean, it’s been fun and all but I have so much school work to catch up on.”  
  
Kili groaned, covering his eyes with an arm. “Don’t remind me.”  
  
“How’s your philosophy going?”  
  
“Philosophy? Do I do philosophy? Oh wait, yeah I do,” Kili pretended to slap his forehead in mock forgetfulness. ”But I might as well not for how much I’ve learned from it. It will take a miracle for me to pass my finals this year.”  
  
“If you ever want some tutoring, I could help you out.”  
  
Kili laughed humourlessly. “Thanks. I might take you up on that.”  
  
“Please, it would be the least I can do. I seem to remember I rather enjoyed that class.”  
  
“You’re unnatural. But thanks.”  
  
“Hello?! _HELLOo?_ Angels and demons line up please!”  
  
“Guess that’s our call,” Kili muttered, jumping to his feet and automatically holding hand out to Fili. Fili lowered the can from his face and took his hand, letting Kili help pull him to his feet.  
  
“Thanks for listening, Kili,” Fili said quietly. His voice was almost a sigh. It was the first time Kili remembered Fili ever saying his name and it nearly made the hairs on the back of Kili’s neck stand on end. Even given all that had happened, Kili thought Fili looked beautiful, the bruised part of his face in the shadow, blue eyes turned black in the near dark of backstage, a half smile of gratitude pulling up his lips.  
  
“And thanks for just listening. Not nagging, not telling me I should have dome something else.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Kili told him honestly.  
  
“Demons, this line. Angels, other side. Hm, I’ll put you here…” Alice shoved the two of them into line and stormed off. Fili glanced around and waved at Kili.  
  
“Right in the middle! Not pride of place anymore?”  
  
“Not at all!” Kili agreed, feeling immensely glad.  
  
The last walk was a breeze. He strode for the last time down the catwalk posing at the end for the last time, next to his new partner, and before he knew it he had stepped off the platform for the last time, and it was over. A bittersweet rush washed over him, the pang of the fading thrill mingling with an deep intense relief it was final over; life could return back to normal.  
  
“No afterparty for you tonight?” Fili asked as they stepped out of Mirkwood, lingering behind as the rest of the gang of models immediately headed towards town, laughing and chattering excitedly.  
  
Kili made a face. “I’m still recovering from the last one to be honest.”  
  
“Yeah, me too,” Fili chuckled. “The hangover, I mean,” he added guardedly when Kili shot a glance at him.  
  
“Sure. Wanna share a cab home?”  
  
“Thanks. But I actually think I’ll walk.”  
  
Kili blinked at him. “Walk?”  
  
“Yes, walk.” Fili stared back.  
  
“But it’s dangerous,” Kili said.  
  
“It’s perfectly safe,” Fili retorted, gesturing casually then pointing to his black eye with a sardonic smile. “And who’s gonna pick a fight with a guy who looks like this?”  
  
“But it’s like an _hour_ ,” Kili insisted.  
  
“I like to walk. Clears my head.”  
  
“Do you want me to come with you?” Kili asked.  
  
“It’s okay. Just want some alone time.” He touched Kili lightly on the wrist. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine.”  
  
“Okay, if you say so,” Kili said stupidly.  
  
“Bye. See you tomorrow.”  
  
“See you.”  
  
He didn’t know when he would see Fili tomorrow, but he felt a little heartened that Fili said it. Maybe they could get together for coffee, assuming Fili wouldn’t want to stay in his house with a presumably still-glowering Nori and Bofur waiting for an opportunity to let loose with their I-told-you-sos. He had a feeling Fili wasn’t one to let others take care of him either, so even if they had calmed down and were contrite, he would probably lock himself in his room and wait them all to forget about it.  
  
He headed towards the bus stop, deciding he might as well save some money and take the bus rather than a cab all the way home. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, noticing the lingering coolness in the air that let him know summer was still a few weeks away from coming. He could hear in the distant sound of partygoers, whoops of laughter and shrieks of glee echoing from town, and he wondered if that was the other models.  
  
He thought of Fili and tried to reassure himself that he would be fine – he was right, with his black eye Fili looked dangerous enough that he wouldn’t be bothered. Kili shuddered all the same. He didn’t like it when Fili made jokes about his condition. But he supposed humour might be Fili’s coping mechanism.  
  
He stared idly ahead of him on the bus, at the streetlights whizzing by, and thought of all the ways he could kill Darren. How to do it to make it look like an accident? Couldn’t be too hard – he was sure Darren was asshole enough that if some people ‘happened’ to beat him up one night it wouldn’t rouse any suspicion, he was sure Nori knew some people to help him avenge what _that prick_ had done to his –  
  
Friend? Kili thought they were acquainted enough now to call eachother friends. Fili was definitely much nicer to him than he used to be, back when he only knew Kili as the-dickhead-roomie-of-Nori’s-brother who prank called him that time. No, he could safely say they were now friends. Not that that changed the fact that Kili was still madly and desperately in love with him.  
  
And Fili was single now... Kili pushed that thought aside, snarling internally at his own selfishness. Fili needed friends now more than ever, not to be jumped on by some hopeless freshman. He would be Fili’s friend, if he wanted him to be.  
  
Kili amazed himself when he got home by not going immediately to the fridge. He plopped himself on the couch and flicked through TV channels until he found a documentary on deep sea life. He vegetated there until he felt his eyes closing and dragged himself upstairs to bed. He was on the brink of falling into a blissful oblivion when his phone buzzed, heralding a text. He opened his eyes blearily and checked the message:  
  
_Home safe and sound. Got tons of schoolwork to do so going to the library tomorrow if you want to join. F x_  
  
Kili smiled as he typed out a reply and sank back into his pillows. Maybe he was a study buddy, if not a friend – but he’d take it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there's any readers out there still left... please forgive me for my unbelievable and unforgiveable lateness 0:) this story hasn't left my mind, even if time to work on it has disappeared from under my feet, and so much love to all of you who read/comment/kudos. this chapter has been a challenge to write because of the issues that have come up in it, so all and any feedback is welcome!
> 
> more to come, less late than this time i promise. Xxx


	14. Chapter 14

Fili walked. He had always found it soothing, putting one foot in front of the other, vaguely concentrating on keeping to the centre of the sidewalk, or not stepping on the cracks as he had done when he was younger. The dark oddly relaxing, bringing an extra quietness and a sense of peace that was rare to find when the sun was out in the day.

  
One foot in front of the other. His right eye had started smarting about an hour ago, and didn’t show any signs of stopping. He pressed the heel of his hand into it irritably, as if to quell the throbbing, before deciding that was a bad idea and taking his hand away, wincing with pain. Maybe he should have brought some painkillers with him, but he’d run out of his supply at home and didn’t want to ask his flatmates for more. All that would have done was ignite the same old argument again, and Fili hated to agree that they’d _told him so_.

  
Anyway… Tonight had been fun. The whole process, the rehearsals, the clothes, the shows, it had been fun while they’d lasted. He’d had less of a spot in the limelight tonight, but he had been glad for it. He didn’t think he’d have been able to pull off his usual sultry sassiness on the stage tonight, thanks to his bruised face. He couldn’t help feeling his ego was more than a little bruised as well.

  
He should have seen it coming. Like an idiot, it snuck up on him like a thief in the dark and he cursed himself for not recognizing the signs. Darren had always been possessive, but at first it had been sexy. He’d felt desired, wanted, and it had given him a thrill when Darren pulled him against him, wrapped his arms around him tightly and purred, “ _You’re mine_ ,” in his ear.

  
But he wouldn’t let it dent his confidence, he told himself firmly, he _wouldn’t_ – not on the outside at least. In the few snatches of time he’d had to sink into his own thoughts in the last 24 hours, a horrible sinking feeling of shame, regret and anger at his own idiocy almost overwhelmed him. He tried not to replay it in his head but he couldn’t help it:

  
They club was pulsing and crowded and Fili was smiling, bobbing his hip to the music as he leaned against the bar waiting for his drink. He accepted his beer with a smile and a mouthed ‘thank you’ to the bartender and weaved his way through the crowd, glancing around to see where his friends were. Darren was broody and sullen, his face had been dark ever since he’d greeted him after the show. He’d barely said anything so far, not even a congratulations, only followed Fili around like a silently thunderous shadow.

  
“Come outside with me,” Darren ordered. “I want to smoke.”

  
Fili huffed, a little irritated as he’d only just gotten his beer. He passed his full bottle to Aragorn, gesturing with his thumb that they were outside and miming smoking a cigarette when he saw the confusion on his face. He let Darren tow him across the crowded dance floor to the exit, which led to an alley at the side of the building. The bouncer nodded at them both as they went through – they didn’t allow drinks to be taken outside.

  
As soon as they were outside, Fili reached for Darren’s hand but Daren was already digging in the pocket of his black leather jacket for his lighter. He muttered a curse as he rummaged, and eventually pulled it out, cupping a hand around it as he brought it to the cigarette dangling from his lips. He dropped it back in his pocket and stalked a few metres down the alley. Fili followed him, taking the chance to link his fingers with Darren’s free hand as they walked.

  
“Did you enjoy the show?” he asked.

  
Darren gave an annoyed hum.

  
“I know you weren’t interested to begin with but it was for charity.”

  
Darren snorted derisively. “For charity? Spare me.”

  
Fili frowned. “What?”

  
Darren’s fingers had tightened around Fili’s and Fili felt them going numb. “Ow, Darren you’re hurting me. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

  
“Why don’t you tell me, slut?”

  
Fili’s mouth dropped open. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snapped, trying to yank his hand away.

  
“I saw you with that dark-haired guy, holding hands all triumphant at the end. Thought it was fun, eh, didn’t you think I would notice? Now it makes sense, why you wanted to be in this in the first place.”

  
“That was an impromptu bit of choreography,” Fili snapped, finally succeeding in freeing his hand. “Don’t call me a slut.”

  
“Don’t lie to me,” Darren snarled.

  
“I’m not, stop being such a dick!”

  
Fili heard a growl and saw the orange sparks from Darrne’s cigarette as it bounced on the ground before he felt his back smack against the wall as Darren pinned him there.

  
“I said _don’t lie!_ ”

  
“I’m not lying, get off me!” Fili shouted, yanking at Darren’s hands and ducking under his arm to get away.

  
“Don’t you walk away from me,” Darren snarled, grabbing Fili’s ponytail and yanking him backwards. Fili gasped in pain before he was pinned to the wall again and opened his mouth to swear before realizing a split second too late that Darren had raised an arm to hit him. His fist collided with Fili’s cheekbone and Fili’s knees almost buckled in shock.

  
“You –“ Fili grabbed the hands pushing on his shoulders and jerked his head forward, feeling his forehead connect with Darren’s nose. He heard a grunt of pain and took advantage of the momentary lapse to push Darren away from him, lunging furiously and feeling a sense of satisfaction as his fist connected with Darren’s face and Darren lurched sideways at the contact, blood starting to run from his nose.

  
“Don’t ever talk to me like that! I never want to see you again!” Fili shouted. He spun around and sprinted back to the door of the club. He skirted around the dancefloor, which was even more crowded than it had been a mere few minutes before. He kept his head down until he reached the men’s toilet, hidden behind a scratched door once painted black where, mercifully, there was no queue. He bolted it behind him and leaned over the sink, trying to digest what had just happened. His heart was slowing from its previous frantic thumping, and Fili felt pain starting to make itself known as the adrenaline started to subside. He looked up in the mirror and was met with his own white face, looking even paler against the blood dripping from his nose. He cursed at the crimson spots blossoming on his white tshirt and grabbed a wad of toilet paper to stem the stream from his nose, closing his eyes and trying to calm his breaths. Darren had hit him. Darren had _hit him._

  
When he thought he had managed to get the blood flow under control, and had done what he could to cover the spots of blood with his jacket, he headed home, walking fast along the mostly empty streets, trying to keep to the shadows as much as possible. He was blinking back tears by the time he got home, inserting his keys in the lock with shaking hands.

  
The house was dark and empty. His friends were obviously still out. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not. He went back to the bathroom to check on his face, which was throbbing. Outside the dim light of the dingy club bathroom, it looked twice as bad, his cheekbone swollen and the red around his eye starting to darken. His hair was a mess, being shoved against a wall and his trip home almost at a run had loosened it from the bun he’d shoved it into before heading to the club. He yanked out the hairtie holding it back furiously and grabbed some scissors, cutting the tresses without mercy – Darren had grabbed him from _there_ , if he hadn’t managed to grab his hair and pull him back he would never have gotten hit. Having long hair made him vulnerable, _stupid…_

  
The front door opened and Fili heard the Bofur and Nori’s voices. He lurched for the bathroom door, which was still ajar, but it was already being pushed open.

  
“There you are, Fili, we were looking for you JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

  
Bofur stopped dead, horrified at the sight of Fili, blood still crusted around his nostrils, tearstained cheeks, half his hair lying in the sink.

  
“Fuck off Bo, I’m fine,” Fili snapped, trying to glare through the tears that suddenly threatened to resurface.

  
“This is not _fine!_ What did he do to you?” Bofur thundered.

  
“It’s none of your business, I can take care of myself.”

  
“I can see _that_ ,” Bofur scoffed, pointing at Fili’s rapidly-blackening black eye. “We just want to help you –“

  
“I don’t need your help!” Fili shouted. “I don’t need a lecture so you can get out!”

  
Bo opened his mouth to argue.

  
“GET OUT!” Fili shouted.

  
Bofur snapped his mouth shut, turned on his heel and stormed up the stairs. Fili stared at Nori, who stared back at him calmly before walking slowly into the bathroom and closing the door.

  
“Let me do that for you,” he said, taking the scissors out of Fili’s shaking fingers and pushing him gently towards the toilet seat.

  
Fili sat, and stared at the floor fighting back tears as Nori combed and cut, combed and cut. Nori was always so calm in a crisis, unlike hot-tempered originally-Irish Bo. He often wondered if Nori knew more about life than he let on – all he knew about Nori’s home background was that he had no family, save for Ori and an older brother called Dori who had raised them both out in a dodgy area in New York. Nori didn’t talk about it much, and Fili was glad for it as it gave him an excuse to avoid talking about his own background, for the most part.

  
“All done,” Nori dusted off his hands and scooped Fili’s hair off the toilet seat, throwing it into the bin.

  
Fili stood up hesitantly and looked in the mirror, rubbing a hand gingerly over the back of his head, the short hair feeling unnatural beneath his fingers. It looked neat, passable, as if he’d gone to the barber’s. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so surprised – Nori had many talents.

  
“Thanks.”

  
Nori nodded, wiping his hands on the bathroom towel and indicating to Fili’s eye.

  
“You put any ice on that?”

  
“Not yet,” Fili replied dully.

  
“There’s some frozen peas in the freezer. I’m heading to bed.”

  
“Night Nori. Thanks again.”

  
“Anytime.” Nori flashed him a quick smile that was genuine even if it didn’t entirely dissipate the hint of concern in his eyes. Then he was gone.  
 _One foot in front of the other_. Fili pulled himself out of memories with a wince. He was glad today had been busy enough it hadn’t allowed him to linger, but after replaying the whole episode from start to finish made his head swim. He was glad he was only halfway home, he still had time to gather his thoughts and mentally unwind before sinking into a doubtlessly uneasy sleep.

  
The walk managed to calm him and the slight chill settling in the air around midnight felt cool against his hot eye, but its smarting had increased painfully by the time he reached his house. He unlocked the door and traipsed through to the dark kitchen, pulling out the bag of frozen peas. He felt his way to the sofa, clicking the light switch on the way, and collapsed onto it, letting his head fall back and laying the bag onto his eye.  
He heard movement, and opened one eye. Bofur was standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe.

  
“You’re back.”

  
“Yup.”

  
“How’s your eye?”

  
“Been better,” Fili admitted, letting his other eye slide shut. “Although my fingers are starting to feel numb.”

  
“How was the fashion show?”

  
“Not bad. Not as good as yesterday.” Fili sighed. “Listen, Bo. About yesterday –“

  
“You’re sorry,” Bofur finished for him. “And you hope I understand. And you behaved appallingly and like a complete ass and you’re going to grovel until the end of next semester and do all my homework for me for the rest of the year if it means I’ll forgive you and you have the most unappreciated yet undeniably best friends in the world.”

  
Fili frowned.

  
“Well, I added the last few things,” Bofur conceded.

  
“Not the last bit,” Fili told him. “You guys are – amazing. I’m sorry. I don’t think I could do it without you. Truly.”

  
“Yeah well. You could let us know more often.”

  
“I know. Sorry.”

  
“Stop apologizing. It doesn’t make it better.”

  
Fili sighed.

  
“But at least we’re all on the same page.”

  
Fili cracked a small smile. He knew Bo well enough to know it would take him a few days, but this was the first step towards a truce.

  
“Fuckin good riddance to that asshole. He better be history.”

  
“Amen to that,” Fili muttered bitterly.

  
“… Or I’ll make him history,” Bofur growled. Fili let out a chuckle.

  
“Nori’s dark side is rubbing off on you,” he told Bo, trying to inject his voice with some semblance of amusement before suppressing a yawn and sighinga. “I have to go to bed. Although I should really study.”

  
“You can’t study now, it’s past midnight!” Fili his one eye and grinned, amused at the perplexion and outrage on Bofur’s face.

  
“That’s true. But I also haven’t touched any schoolwork for ages. This fashion show took up so much damn time. Guess I’ll just head over to the library tomorrow morning.”

  
Bofur shook his head with a sardonically raised eyebrow. “Good luck with that. I on the other hand intend to sleep on my Sunday, which is what God made them for in the first place.” As if to illustrate his point, he yawned like a cat, stretching his arms luxuriously.

  
“We’re not all blessed with your capacity to sleep through even an earthquake,” Fili teased. “Good night Bo.”

  
“Night Fili.” Bofur turned, still stretching and headed up the stairs. Fili glanced at his watch and sighed again, putting the peas reluctantly back into the freezer and following his friend up the stairs.

  
He washed his face and brushed his teeth, feeling fatigue wash over him as he rinsed his toothbrush. He collapsed into bed and reached over for his phone on the bedside table, setting an alarm for the next morning at seven. He hesitated for a moment, thinking of Kili, who must have been home by then too. He typed out a quick text: _Home safe and sound._ After a second of hesitation, he added: _Got tons of schoolwork to do so going to the library tomorrow if you want to join. F x_

  
He’d barely laid his phone back on the table to charge and settled down under the bedcovers before his phone beeped and he read Kili’s reply: _Sounds necessary. See you tomorrow xx._ Fili smiled, set another alarm for 6:30, just for good measure, and turned over, hoping for peaceful sleep.

 

  
 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed :) all kudos/comments/suggestions very much appreciated! X


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